Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Fairy12 12/13/2011

Is it normal to want to be on meds, to just not feel anything. I never have delusions, or phyosis and I am only Bp II. I just want to be on them, so I don't have to feel anything anymore.

deleted_user 12/13/2011

I haven't been diagnosed, though I am thinking about talking to a pdoc about my symptoms.

Anyway, I would want to be on them if I was formally diagnosed to stop the fluctuating mood intensity and bring it down to what could be deemed a normal mood range and stop the craziness of hypomania and depression so I could move on with my life. I wouldn't want to be on them so I didn't have to feel.

It sounds like you're a bit depressed. :( *hug*

deleted_user 12/13/2011

Not in my opinion.

deleted_user 12/13/2011

I'm to afraid not to take them any more!

renewedme 12/13/2011

I hate taking meds for just that reason. I rarely 'feel' anything anymore. And I hate it. I'm emotionless, except for my anxiety.

deleted_user 12/13/2011

I hear you F12. Right now I do not want to feel the way that you described, but I have been there before and more than once. I cannot honestly say to you that I know I'll never be there again. The last time was about 2 years ago and all that I wanted was to be stupid, to stop thinking, and to be all numb. I pretty much begged my pdoc for that and he just increased the Lamictal which for me was a big reason for my symptoms instead of being the cure or the treatment.

deleted_user 12/13/2011

I was a zombie for 10 years on 30 mg of Zyprexa and at different times Lithium or Depakote in addition to the Zyprexa. I still felt stuff, though.

It does sound like you are depressed. Therapy can help that, I also find a lot of help from self-help books and blogging. Just make sure whatever you do to feel better is a positive action and not a negative one, i.e. taking drugs to feel something and self-medicate.

care4me 12/13/2011

I am with Max, i am too afraid not to take them.

deleted_user 12/13/2011

i dont think they totally make you stop feeling but i think it does numb the pain of the mood changes and it help me to function so i get the point i am also afied to not be on them

deleted_user 12/13/2011

I think that when you have a firestorm of emotions going on, it's natural to want to take a vacation from them. I know at one time I really was glad that meds killed my sex drive; it saved me lots and lots of pain. I also used to have crippling anxiety and urges to self-mutilate that were through the roof. So I naturally wanted to just kill that.

But zombiefication should only be temporary until you can handle your emotions. But yes, I totally get what you're saying.

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