Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
i have never been "suicidal"
i think i'm too much of a coward to actually do anything.
but i think about it all the time, today especially.
i've thought about jumping out of windows, but it's so cold outside
i've thought about taking all of my pills, but i'm afraid no one would find me.
and i'd rot.
i thought about sitting outside until i freeze to death, but it's not cold enough for that.
why am i saying these things? i'm not suicidal, i don't want to die so why am i thinking about it so much?
death is inevitable why not just speed up the process and get it over with.
my great uncle died today. i wasn't even that close to him. but i'm so upset about it.
now i have to go to a funeral, and feel death all around me.
it already feels like it's all around me.
i'm so fucking dramatic.
i wish i could get my shit together and just be like everyone else.
no one else is coping badly.
no one else is afraid of not being able to get through finals.
why do i just want it to end? i see the possibilities but i'm so tired.
i don't want to tell anyone because i'm afraid they'll take me away
to a hospital or rehab or something.
this is so stupid.
i'm sorry for wasting everyone's time.
i just needed somewhere to say this.
i think i'm too much of a coward to actually do anything.
but i think about it all the time, today especially.
i've thought about jumping out of windows, but it's so cold outside
i've thought about taking all of my pills, but i'm afraid no one would find me.
and i'd rot.
i thought about sitting outside until i freeze to death, but it's not cold enough for that.
why am i saying these things? i'm not suicidal, i don't want to die so why am i thinking about it so much?
death is inevitable why not just speed up the process and get it over with.
my great uncle died today. i wasn't even that close to him. but i'm so upset about it.
now i have to go to a funeral, and feel death all around me.
it already feels like it's all around me.
i'm so fucking dramatic.
i wish i could get my shit together and just be like everyone else.
no one else is coping badly.
no one else is afraid of not being able to get through finals.
why do i just want it to end? i see the possibilities but i'm so tired.
i don't want to tell anyone because i'm afraid they'll take me away
to a hospital or rehab or something.
this is so stupid.
i'm sorry for wasting everyone's time.
i just needed somewhere to say this.
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Everyday I feel more and more sick. Being in pain every day, I've learned to disguise it. So well that others don't believe my pain when I speak of it. Needing help but only receiving negative responses, I find my way but pay for it later. I absolutely need the rest but there's pressing things to be done.
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Ugh my depression is really being triggered by the grief of losing my mom. Ugh it sucks. I wish this pain would leave me already.
You can get rid of them.
Exercise helps with depression too. Try taking long walks.
Good Luck! hugs xxxx
Suicidal ideas are mostly from a depressive episode,or a mixed episode...most people do not act on them...they are intrusive thoughts....there are meds for intrusive thoughts..talk to your Pdoc about this.
And good luck
I would bet that there are many people in your school that are afraid of not being able to make it thru finals as well.
I remember this summer when my pdoc asked my about suicidal thoughts and I said just your normal I want to die and it all to end thoughts, and then we both started giggling.
I had to think about it for a while after the apointment why did we both giggle at something like that.
It was the way it was said you know "just your normal" like it was a way of life and it was our job to cope and manage it together as a team.Or to say it better is I have thoughts that would freak out a normal person if they had them, and to me its a daily nuisance I have to live with and still function to the best of my ability.
the ONLY thing that keeps me alive is my son. otherwise i'd be outta here. thats for sure.
hope ya feel better soon!! hugs.
why i don't kill myself? bcs my sister did. the pain felt by those left behind is unimagineable.
suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. don't care if that sounds trite. it's true. and NO ONE will be better off if a person kills themself.