The grass is always greener, isn't it?

Good job at controlling things...I know it's hard, but do what you can to keep yourself in check.

i used it as a stop-smoking aid, and went through a month of nervous energy, sweating profusely, and being completely jittery. i had to get off of it.
i am extremely drug-resistant, and i find remeron the best a.d. of them all. (the only one i can stand, anyway)
i would definitely talk to your pdoc about this.

I tried Mirtazapine first and it was horrible for me. I won't go into it but it was bad. Now I have the nervous energy, sweating jittery thing going on and it's horrible too. Dunno what I'm gonna do about it yet. I like that it keeps me upbeat but... maybe they will just give me something to calm my nerves to go with it. Hell, I don't know what I need.

Some BP people can not tolerate Anti-D's at all.
I know I can't , they all drove me over the brink.

I hope you have better luck !

I hate the bloody meds merry go round. Been on it for years, but have had SOME consistency for a while. Unfortunately however, Seroquel, one of the drugs that has given my consistency has also pushed me to DOUBLE the weight I was on when I started on mood stablislisers. I am literally carrying around a whole person on top of my natural optimum weight. I'm happy to put up with some weight problems for the benefir of meds, but not this.

I have literally and figuatively reached critical mass on this issue. I moved to a new town 3 months ago and will be seeing my new psychiatrist on the 22nd and while Iknow I can't go in there demanding or being aggressive, I am going to broach the Seroquel issue and say I am very firm (I actually have a right to participating in decision making about my meds) that I need to get off Seroquel and what are the alternatives both for the mood stabilsation effects and also the sleep assistance (which is a real issue for me and if I go into crisis sleep deficit I will get suicidal quickly). I am suggesting Geodon for mood stabilisation (weight neutral) an I think Trazadone which helps sleep. I've got those suggestions from other people on DS, who've actually been through the experience of going off Seroquel for the same reasons and onto these alternate drugs to excellent effect.

I've NEVER been non-compliant with meds (except when i tried to knock myself off and nearly succeeded). But I really have an attitude right now that if he doesn't help me get off Seroquel, I may, and with me telling him I'll do this, being totally honest, wean myself off Seroquel. It may even lead to my death. I have Bipolar and several other serious psych illnesses, all of which will be affected should I go off Seroquel with no alternatives to replace it. But I've come to one of those points where I don't believe life is worthwhile living this way, my self esteem is rock bottom and at 44, I wil soon get the serious health problems that come with morbid obesity.

I also take Lithium which stuffs up the Thyroid which stuffs up metaboloism and slows it right down. And even with a drug called Thyroxine to address it (which elevates me and adds to my sleep problems), my Thyroid is still stuffed.

So in response to your post heretic, I am actually PREPARED to put myself back on the meds merry go round to get off Seroquel and find viable alternatives.

I have complex sleep problems which means it's very hard to exercise, and I'm not high functioning so I don't have the capacity to buy fresh food and cook it.

On the bright side, I've just seen a sleep specialist and he totally understood the interfaces between lack of sleep, meds, weight, self esteem, functionality. He'll be speaking to my new psychiatrist about issues he's very aware of with meds - some of which actually make the sleep condition they are supposed to help, have a rebound effect. I felt positive about that meeting and have already begun to implement his sleep regimen.

Sorry to bang on so much. It's a tough time.

Heretic, I've been gone for a little while (my laptop is in critical condition after an "accident") because I have limited Internet access. But I'd like to observe that, while I can't tell you which is a better way to feel, I can see a spark in you that wasn't here a couple of weeks ago. This post talks about being sick of living like this, not about being sick of living, period. You're talking about being afraid you'll say or do something in the future that you might regret. A few weeks ago, you weren't talking about your future at all.

So, FWIW, I hope that this is a trend toward a peaceful recovery for you. Progress is painful, but I hope you are feeling like it's worth the effort! You've made me hopeful today!
A

I was on Wellbutrin and it sent me to the moon, but I had no mood stabilizer or antipsychotic with it. Now I take it with Lamictal and Geodon and it doesn't send me too high. Maybe your doc could adjust your antipsychotic? I love Wellbutrin because 28% of the people who take it lose weight and I am in that 28%. I have lost 30 pounds (the 30 pounds I gained on Risperdal) without diet or exercise. It just fell off. Wellbutrin curbs my appetite, plus I think it revs up my metabolism. They have done studies and found that with the same amount of activity and exercise the Wellbutrin group lost more weight. Also Wellbutrin doesn't have the sexual side effects. It works really well on my depression too. For me personally I would go up on my antipsychotic to see if that stabilized me before I would give up my Wellbutrin, but if it's not working for you and making you crazy... We are all different in how we respond to these meds.

I should also add the antipsychotic I am on (Geodon) is weight neutral. I think Wellbutrin and Seroquel might cause weight gain.