Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hi everyone,
I know it's difficult to retain a relationship with a bipolar person, but should we (the bipolar person) clutch onto a partner just so we don't have to face life alone.
My situation is i was dx early last year after having left my husband of 25yrs a yr ealier. The reason I left was due to my 1st manic episode.
I spent 21 weeks in a psychiatric hospital and was discharged when stable.
It was about this time that I found out that my husband had had a 2 1/2 year affair with a workmate prior to my leaving our marriage.
He wants me to come back but his family are not ready to accept me back into the family and he is ok with that. They have family gatherings but i'm not invited.
He won't stand up to them on my behalf. They agree the only thing i have done to them is that I left my husband. It hurt him so it hurts them.
I have never been violent in my mood swings. I'm always very sociable and if i'm depressed, i don't go out.
They won't accept me but seem to be fine with the fact that he had an affair.
Oh, one last thing.
My mother in law actually had to hide to tell me that i obviously wasn't given him what he needed so he got it elsewhere.
I told him it's over but now and then i start thinking about life and should i just settle for a life with someone who is essentially quite selfish and weak, or will i ever meet someone whom i will be madly in love with.
I know it's difficult to retain a relationship with a bipolar person, but should we (the bipolar person) clutch onto a partner just so we don't have to face life alone.
My situation is i was dx early last year after having left my husband of 25yrs a yr ealier. The reason I left was due to my 1st manic episode.
I spent 21 weeks in a psychiatric hospital and was discharged when stable.
It was about this time that I found out that my husband had had a 2 1/2 year affair with a workmate prior to my leaving our marriage.
He wants me to come back but his family are not ready to accept me back into the family and he is ok with that. They have family gatherings but i'm not invited.
He won't stand up to them on my behalf. They agree the only thing i have done to them is that I left my husband. It hurt him so it hurts them.
I have never been violent in my mood swings. I'm always very sociable and if i'm depressed, i don't go out.
They won't accept me but seem to be fine with the fact that he had an affair.
Oh, one last thing.
My mother in law actually had to hide to tell me that i obviously wasn't given him what he needed so he got it elsewhere.
I told him it's over but now and then i start thinking about life and should i just settle for a life with someone who is essentially quite selfish and weak, or will i ever meet someone whom i will be madly in love with.
My fiance didn't cheat on me, but he fell in love for someone else because of my bipolar disorder. My mood swings (ups and downs) drifted us apart, and drew him closer to her. He said he fell for her because I was always sad and she was always happy. I am staying together with him for the sake of our love, and happiness. We had good times together and we're working on our relationship. I am spending my savings to take him on a holiday, so we could try to work things out.
So yeah, I understand how you feel. But should we clutch on to someone because it's hard to live alone? The answer is really up to you. I rally support from family and friends as well, so maybe the answer is no. Plus, he cheated on you. Now he wants you back. I understand you may have forgiven him. But you have unresolved issues with his family. How will you two move on from this point onwards? And he won't stand up to them on your behalf. Doesn't that show you how "important" you are to him?
Yes, you may have hurt him when you left him, but don't forget he hurt you too.
Will you ever meet someone and fall madly in love with? I don't know. I wonder about that myself. True, I'm still with my fiance at the moment, but if this doesn't work out I don't know if I'll ever be able to find someone who will accept me for who I am, despite my bipolar disorder and my other illnesses. All my ex-boyfriends left me because of my condition, and I'm convinced no one will love me for who I am.
But I have faith, and I think faith is the most important thing one with BP can have. You might meet someone else along the way, or you may choose to go back to your ex. It is really your call, but do what is best for you. My aunt fell in love at the age of 52, so it's never too late. Good luck, and listen to your heart.
As for your husband - I can't rightly speak to 25 years in one comment. But just the fact that he lets his family treat you that way and doesn't defend you and doesn't seem to mind - I know marriage vows vary, but isn't there usually something about forsaking all others (this includes the family he was born into) and cleaving only unto each other?
I firmly feel that if there are issues in a marriage, those issues pertain solely to the two parties IN the marriage. Yes, it's natural to want to vent to family, but I believe that regardless of how he feels, if he wants you back he needs to be defending you to all members of his family, no matter what. Then, whatever problems you two have, you work out between the two of you, or perhaps with the aid of a marriage counselor. NO EXTENDED FAMILY PERMITTED.
Hon, never settle. You deserve so much better.
Hugs to you,
Caroline
His family is blaming you for breaking his heart?
but they don't notice what he did too you. Slept with someone else for that long. In marriage there a vouls to never do what he did, and he didn't mean them at all
I seem to think his families is one of those families where ''My Child is an angel''
Correct me if i'm wrong though, But darl don't go back there! I know it can be really hard but if you go back all that will corse you stress and stress is our major trigger with having bipolar. YOU DESERVE BETTER! his weakness will affect your illness, if he cheats again you will be at stage 1 again..
Please keep the quote in mind ''it's better to be unhappy alone, than to be unhappy with someone'' I believe in this quote..
I don't know what it's like to be married to someone since i'm 20 years old.. but i'm hoping i'm giving good advice or i'm on the right track.
I don't think it's fair at all for his family to accept what he did. I'd like to see it in there shoes if one of there husbands/boyfriends had an affair. It's not good and it breaks your heart more than the person who had the affair.
After someone cheats/has an affair the trust is no longer there or it takes a long time to build. and i believe you can do better. If thats you in your photo you are a beautiful woman that any man would love to meet and treat you right. We can't have evil people in our lifes because we don't grow and we don't stay ontop of our illness.
Don't think because of this marriage you won't find anything else. Never say never, You are beautiful and there will be a man out there for you and accept you the way you are and will never look at another woman the way your husband has done.... he said in the marriage vowls he will always be faithful... he did not be faithful to you..
I just think out of all this, you believe there is a guy out there for you..your a beautiful woman and don't ever think overwise, don't let other people put you down like he did. If he was a real man he would of been with you till the end and helped you and cared for you.
I hope i helped.. you deserve better darl. but i know how hard it can be.
You can't rely on him to be strong.. you have to be strong by yourself ..yes it's hard i've done the same thing with guys. That i always relyed on them but when they pushed me down i went down.. the best thing i did was be strong by myself and thats what you need to do... don't rely on him because he can bring you up and down whenever he pleases.. but you being strong by yourself is the best thing you can do..
Again i hope i helped... Take care xo
I did move back in with him at xmas to try at the marriage but I became more depressed.
But as my moods go swinging back and forth, it's easy to forget all the things that were so damn wrong between us.
You all have written the right words for me.
So, HUGS to you all, today is new day.