Bereavement Support Group
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This is the holiday season and I am doing my xmas job.This is the only time of the year that I can make money and not be penalized for it.But I do find today that people are like bulls in a china shop.That means they say things that just come to their head without thinking.This is the way that things were when I attended school.The boys then were a bit stupid.But today when I told someone about the death of my aunt..she responded.".well,its is better this way".Does anyone know what this means?What does she mean by better? Is she telling me who is having a hard time with Brad in rehab and the death of my cousins and aunt that I wish them dead? How could she be so cruel? Secondly..after she realized what she had said...there was no apology.These are words that you do not say.Another phrase..is this."I know how you feel".Now this sounds a bit offense.How could she know when she hasnt been around in months? How can anyone know the hurt a person is going through? Does he/she know? Of course not! Then why do people say this? But the biggest thing and the biggest crud that someone just told me is this"You will get over it." Now what does this mean? Are they telling me to forget the fact that these persons lived?How can anyone say this? If the person just lost a child..how can anyone say this to a mother? Some deaths people just dont get over.These are words that you just dont say.But people can help the grieving by not saying anything at all..but giving them love and support and sometimes giving us a surprize like buying the groceries and flowers to help us deal with the shock of death.Vader.
They all went home to family for Christmas. We went home to emptiness.
1]It's probably fo the best,when god takes a young child it's because they had a horrible life ahead of them....Like losing your life before it starts isn't horrible?
2]It was gods will..god wanted my baby dead?
3]Everything happens for a reason.ok,a newborn dies and theres a good reason for it?
4]You'll get over it...Well guess what,it's been 13 years and it still feels and hurts like yesterday!
5]This one really got me..Well,you really didn't want another one did you?[I have 4 others] Oh heck no...thats why i carried him for 9 months, loved him,had so many hopes and dreams for him!
6}Well at least you have the others,be thankful for them...like i wasn't thankful for them before my son died? I thank god every day for all of my children and have since the day they were born!
I hold a "gathering"at my home once a week for people that have lost a child and we talk about all the things people have said to us.It's totally crazy what some come out with! I tell people...give someone a hug in their time of need,that says it all!