Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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vader 03/10/2014

My name is vader.I am 66 years old and i have been writing on Daily Strength for at least 4 years.Daily Strength is one of the greatest programs online and I get more help from Daily Strength then I do my grief and counselors.In May it will be 5 years and I still can not recover from it.It was a trauma when I was the one who found him and it was very,very gruesome.Thats all I will say.But when do these memories stop? When does a person who is trying to get out of mourning go on? Everytime i hear a song or when I hear that special song of his .....I cry.There is a loneliness that is out of suicide.After that happen,everyone has dropeed me and and it isnt fair to be blamed for something that I had no control over.Brad choose to end his life.Brad was the one with all of these secrets and these secrets are finally coming out and they are hurting me.I try to be nice to people and i try to laugh and smile everyday..but the pain in my heart is so enamourous and it just wont go away.Like I said...memories never stop even when you are with someone new and this person and i are not getting along and it is because of Brad.SO any advice I will take it.I want all of these memories to end.

shur1 03/10/2014

Vader please let go of brad go get some balloons and say your good byes to brad and then release them into the blue sky! Why punish yourself? God does not want you to suffer with this pain he wants to heal you let him in so he may heal your brokenness! Open your heart to him allow gods grace top penetrate into your heart all you have to do is willingly open the door to your heart to gods heart! God is love he loves you more then you know!, ask him to revel himself to you!
He who asks it shall be given knock and the door shall be opened seek and you shall find!!

God bless you grader mat god peace be yours

shur1 03/10/2014

May gods peace be with you vader

vader 03/11/2014

thank you for your rep[ly.I want you to know that I brought some white balloons and intend to realease them soon and I ag ain thank you.As the olde book told me..I am done crying and thanks for being a member of Daily Strength and once again thanks.

rosykitten 03/11/2014

Get some balloons and let go? That isn't a nice thing to say.

Vader, I am sorry for your loss. I don't think memories will ever go away, but maybe it'd fade in the mean time. Honestly, it's ok to be sad and it's ok to have sad memories. You're sad because you miss him. That's okay too.

If you want to feel better or deal with it better, you could try and talk about him. There is nothing wrong with that. Talking about him helps. Maybe writing a journal would help. I write a journal and I talk about my mother all the time. It helps me and If I avoid talking about my mother, don't want painful memories or anything, it won't help and it'd make me feel worse later. Not all people grieve the same. Each person grieves differently.

Hugs to you. Be kind to yourself and do what you have to do. Grieve and don't listen to those who say you can't. They don't know until they have been in our shoes. May you take care now

duane 03/11/2014

Hi Vader, I am so sorry for your loss and trauma. I do think that grief or trauma ever goes away, you just become better at managing it. A loss is never forgotten, a new normal is found. I pray that you too find peace and consolation.

shur1 03/12/2014

Rosey vader has been going through this grief for some years now so balloons is a nice thing to say and do!! Releasing balloons is a symbol setting someone you love FREE to fly!!!

rosykitten 03/12/2014

I understand, but I lost my mother almost 7 years ago. Though there is no time limit for grief and everyone grieves differently. I would be upset if you said the same thing to me. Get some balloons and let go. That doesn't seem nice.

Megwyn 03/13/2014

Grief hurts and when you lost a loved one to suicide it is unlike any other loss. I have been there. Very few people will ever understand what you are feeling. There may be misguided recriminations and many misconceptions. Most people simply don't know how to deal with the subject so they tend to avoid you. I am so sorry you have to go thru this. It doesn't ever 'go away'. This is your new reality. But it is possible to sand the rough edges off this new thing over time so it doesn't hurt as much. Have you looked for a 'Survivors of Suicide' group. Under my particular circumstances it was not a good fit for me but might help you to talk with people who not only lost a loved one, but lost them to suicide. I hope you find some peace.

Veronica77 03/13/2014

I agree with shur1. Sometimes you have to let go so that healing can come. I lost my mother 34 years ago and I still miss her every day. It is a different kind of grief than what vader is going through. Peace to everyone. Hugs

mitche499 03/13/2014

Hi Vader, all people who have lost loved ones, grieve in a different way, because each circumstance is different. Healing from trauma takes time and work on your part, do what helps you feel better and by all means be good to yourself.

Grief Groups & Counceling is good, you are doing what works for YOU, memories fade but never leave, it is your choice in life as to how you hold the memories, good and bad. Life offers you choices of happiness or sadness and lets you make the decision. My prayers are for you to have continued strength in your healing from the devestating trauma.

People will shy away from heartache and sadness, it is a normal reaction from those around us, they don't know how to react or what to say. You mustn't listen to those that put you in blame, they were not there.you were.they haven't walked in your shoes so they cannot know how devastating this is for you. Unfortunately, you now have a new life not of your choosing.

Stay safe and remember YOU are important and strong, I am proud of what you have accomplished my friend.

I send you healing blessings and gentle hugs

barbarame 03/13/2014

I think if you stopped posting the same old story every week or so you might at least find that chewing it over and over serves you not at all. Five years is a long time and there is really nothing more to say. People will decry my lack of sympathy but I have been around long enough to remember your embroidering the story for sensation " BRAD WAS GAY _ I AM GAY!" Do you remember that one? That was the point that I lot of people said "I don't know if I even believe this anymore....." What happened to the singing and the cashiering?If I am reported for this, let me say I do not apologise I can only put up with limited amounts of ******

vader 03/14/2014

thanks for all your replies.But at this time I am no longer singing because of current problems in the house and I just can not do it at this time.The place where I used to sing no longer has karoke and at this time..I do not go out at night.I am going to do some volunteer work with the acquarium and I hope to hear from them soon.And noone knows that I still go thru pain and it is something to get rid of.I will always love Brad even tho the last 3 years will sheer hell and I had no one in seattle to help me with his addiction because the community centers here were voted against and there is no place to go.

Peri 03/19/2014

Barbarame,

I'm not sure what that was all about, but your posting here is completely inappropriate. It was obviously personal in nature and it should have been handled that way. You are correct, I will decry your lack of sympathy.

Perhaps in your ignorance you are not aware of the many, many people who visit this site. People who look here for guidance. While your comments towards Vader are deplorable enough, those entering the initial stages of grief are extremely vulnerable to the kind of criticism you seemed so keen on dishing out.

Barbarame, if our pain is getting on your nerves, then get out.

deleted_user 03/23/2014

Bless you, im almost 7 years in and still rules my life, i just can not let go :(

BBQgirl 04/01/2014

I agree with Pari. Nobody cares if YOU (Barbarame) think someone is a whiner and should get over it. We all have our own level of function vs dysfunction-- this site is not exclusive to only the completely funcyion folk who have it all together all of the time. WOW- now that would be ironic.
Whatever you think of Vader--- keep your negative bashing comments to yourself. Constructive critisism would be fine. If I do not like someone- i just ignore them and don't click on their post to read. You may want to take that advice.

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