Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

when theres nothing I can do vader

vader
vader
I live in seattle and i have been here for 19 years.I also have met a great deal of wonderful people.But can anyone tell me what a person is suppose to do when a co workers husband or wife dies? What do you say? Number one....I wasnt close to this person.She worked in a different department so our schedules collieded and we did not work the same hours.But I do feel kind of bad you see because her husbands death was sudden and he was only in his 50s.The viewing is this week.I dont know if I am going to go.But I am going to geer her a card and thats about all i can do at this moment and I was told that this wasnt enough.ALl i can say is that the work force has changed since i began to work in 1967.It really was and I havent as yet made the changes.What would you do?
lovehodge
lovehodge
I am a young widow. My husband died suddenly too. My opinion is a card is absolutely enough. If the words you write are from your heart, that would be a precious gift to her. Just be honest and say I don't know what to say but sorry if that is the truth.
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
Hi Vader, I am one of the Community Leaders for the Widows & Widowers Group, and I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack, and he was only 55 (I was 50 at the time). I got a lot of strange reactions from coworkers, so I can tell you that a card is perfectly fine and you need do nothing else. A widow would rather have sincere expressions of sympathy than phony ones, and we would never want someone to feel harrassed on our behalf. You say you weren't close, so you should not feel like you have to do anything more, and you don't have to go to the funeral.

If you are friends with anyone that happens to be close to this lady, you can always tell the friend that there is a website that might help the widow and give them the information for DS. We have a group here for Widows & Widowers, and that includes unmarried partners as well. Here is a link to our board:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Widows-Widowers/support-group

It was thoughtful of you to ask for advice on this.

Hugs,
Martha