Bereavement Support Group
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It will be 6 months since dad went to be with the Lord - in June. What do mom and I do for Father's day? I want to do something special to remember him as I love him and miss him so much. His last few weeks were traumatic to him and me as he suffered under the cruel hospital nurses and wasn't allowed to eat or drink the last week (I still think he blames me because he thought I was tired of caring for him and wanted him to die).
I want to remember him when he has strong and happy, but also not give mom a chance to say bad things about him. I still can't watch any hospital scenes on TV, or ads about water, or comments by doctors and anything associated with death as it hurts so much (like LA Law, Criminal Minds, Combat Hospital, etc),not even the news when they take someone away in an ambulance.
It is a few weeks away but I feel myself breaking down again and tears have been flowing freely for the past 2 days (although 2 weeks ago I couldn't cry). What did you do to get through the first year's special occasions?
I want to remember him when he has strong and happy, but also not give mom a chance to say bad things about him. I still can't watch any hospital scenes on TV, or ads about water, or comments by doctors and anything associated with death as it hurts so much (like LA Law, Criminal Minds, Combat Hospital, etc),not even the news when they take someone away in an ambulance.
It is a few weeks away but I feel myself breaking down again and tears have been flowing freely for the past 2 days (although 2 weeks ago I couldn't cry). What did you do to get through the first year's special occasions?
Don't let your mom drag you down. I'm planning to get a father's day card, write a note on it, and then mail it to him in care of God!
One of my acquaintances was banned from visiting her mom at the nursing home because her mom would complain about the abuse there and show her the bruises (they eventually killed her off like my dad and she reported it to the police but nothing came of it).
If I wasn't caring for my mom, I'd will myself to die so I could be with dad. There's no purpose for me on earth other than ensuring her safety and health - and I'm so scared I can't do this if she goes into the same terrible hospital one day. I may just kill some of the staff if they treat her the same and she dies.
Or starting one!
Everything is dictated by the state. You can't even get into a nursing home except through a tedious process where you're queued up for many years. Most people never make it to a long term care home and die at home because the lines are so long.
Today I'm just missing dad so much - it would have been the time I washed all his summer clothes and changed him into fresh short sleeve shirts and shorts. And shopped for his Father's Day gift. I see the empty spot on his favorite sofa and I can't stop crying.
Thank you!
e,g, http://www.ctvnews.ca/w5/w5-nursing-home-investigation-reveals-1-500-cases-of-staff-to-resident-abuse-in-one-year-1.2321287
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/nursing_homes.html
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2015/08/27/1-billion-class-action-suit-claims-residential-hospital-abuse.html
My Dad died on Friday, I'm still in shock it happened pretty quick. We found out three weeks and one day before he passed that his cancer was back.
I guess the only good I can say that their are good people that actually care for the ones they are caring for.
We were lucky. He had good nurses and hospice was so good to Us and my Dad.
His pain never eased up until the last week, then he was just out of it and most of the time unresponsive. We never got a chance to really tell him how much we loved him because we thought we had several months and then suddenly it was days.
We still told him over and over we loved him, but don't know if he heard.
I believe parents love their kids unconditionally. I'm sure that he knew you loved him too.
I don't think there is any preparing ourselves for something like this. I want to blame the doctors and surgeons for my Dad's passing, but he had cancer and we had four doctors look at his test. They all agreed it was aggressive. So I guess we just have to try to remember them before they were sick. It's hard to remember for awhile.
I was with my Aunt when she died of a brain aneurysm and it took a long time to get those good memories back.
So I believe I will and you will get those good memories back too.