Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
It is now 8 and a half months since I lost my dad. Now it will be his birthday in 2 weeks' time and I don't know what to do. Normally I would be getting him a big card, planning his favourite foods and shopping for a gift. Now I can't walk past a men's shop and not tear up, I can't buy his favorite pastries even for mom. I peeked into his bedside drawers now in my room, and can't bear to move any of his things.
I've somehow moved from being traumatically grieving to being sad, to being a zombie again. I move through life caring for mom - it's like the only thing keeping me on earth. If she wasn't here, I'd so gladly leave this terrible earth - there's nothing here for me.
How to honor my dad, and remember him without breaking down and upsetting mom (she's fragile and been ill the past month) ... God seems so silent, and my prayers are just jumbles of words because my heart and soul is dead.
Seems like every one of us has been created to be sad ... who hasn't lost a parent or spouse or child?
Go ahead and buy that card. You can mail it to "Dad, care/of God" if you are religious. Or even to "Dad, care/of the after life". Or you can have a ceremony and burn it. There is no right way and no wrong way, just ways that either do or do not work for you. (And just because something works for me does not mean it will work for you, and it does not even obligate you to even try it!)
You will know when it is time to dispose of your dad's things. It took me time, but I finally managed to do that.
KEep talking to us here. Vent, journal, talk, talk, and talk some more.