Bereavement Support Group
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On the 22nd of August it will be 15 months that Brad killed himself and I am trying to live everyday and it has been a struggle.First of all at the present time because of my leg I cannot work.I cannot stand for hours at a time and I am really disabled and nobody believes me.But i found out something about my neighbor that has deeply disturbed me.I found out that Brad was driving him to help him buy his drugs and now he has a new baby.The baby is 7 months old now and they are struggling.She told me that they can barely pay the rent and they are strugglin also.Recently she banged on my door and was dressed in rags.She told me that she had no money to buy milk for the baby and it was the end of the month.She gets gau and it isnt much here but she has got 6 other children and what could i Do? You see her family was across the street on the 22nd of May last year and saw the police and medical examiner here.Marvin figured it was Brad and when the police came,all of ,my
neighbors came over.They are African American and the chldren on that day went to school.and one of the children told me this,"vader,we will pray for you in church sunday and this little boy told the minister and there was special prayer in this church and I cried.A little boy whose life is just starting worrying about a senior and this shows this kids personality.Both of the parents came over.Marvin and her hugged me and this is remember.There was no milk for the baby.I had no milk or else I would give it to her.I gave her 5.00 and that was all I had.Then she asked me to buy me a bottle of wine for her and Marving.They have been together for 15 years and I brought her the wine and from what I understand they are not paying the bills and the kids are really hungry.One of my neighbors went to the food bank and brought me 11 bags of food.I quality for being a host to a foreign student and one of the requirements it you have to cook meals 3 times a week and I have got plenty of food in my house now.The neighbor next store just brought me zillions of cat food and Kramer is getting better.She still misses Tooey and she is still grieving.But she is coming out of her shell and for this I am grateful.But what should I do? If this guy was giving Brad dope and his kids are starving what would a person do? Brad had drugs in his system and I dont know
where he got it from? I had so much I feel guilty about this baby.so I gave her 3 bags of food and I gave her fish and some chicken.Did i do right? I dont eat a lot of fish since the incident in the Coast woth the oil.I dont know if this fish is contaminated or what.I havent eaten tuna fish is months and I wonder if it is safe.But if someone is your neighbor and came over after a tragedy what am I do ?Is there anyone in this situation? I am having a garage sale this weekend and hope to sell some of this stuff.thanks again.vader and Kramer.
neighbors came over.They are African American and the chldren on that day went to school.and one of the children told me this,"vader,we will pray for you in church sunday and this little boy told the minister and there was special prayer in this church and I cried.A little boy whose life is just starting worrying about a senior and this shows this kids personality.Both of the parents came over.Marvin and her hugged me and this is remember.There was no milk for the baby.I had no milk or else I would give it to her.I gave her 5.00 and that was all I had.Then she asked me to buy me a bottle of wine for her and Marving.They have been together for 15 years and I brought her the wine and from what I understand they are not paying the bills and the kids are really hungry.One of my neighbors went to the food bank and brought me 11 bags of food.I quality for being a host to a foreign student and one of the requirements it you have to cook meals 3 times a week and I have got plenty of food in my house now.The neighbor next store just brought me zillions of cat food and Kramer is getting better.She still misses Tooey and she is still grieving.But she is coming out of her shell and for this I am grateful.But what should I do? If this guy was giving Brad dope and his kids are starving what would a person do? Brad had drugs in his system and I dont know
where he got it from? I had so much I feel guilty about this baby.so I gave her 3 bags of food and I gave her fish and some chicken.Did i do right? I dont eat a lot of fish since the incident in the Coast woth the oil.I dont know if this fish is contaminated or what.I havent eaten tuna fish is months and I wonder if it is safe.But if someone is your neighbor and came over after a tragedy what am I do ?Is there anyone in this situation? I am having a garage sale this weekend and hope to sell some of this stuff.thanks again.vader and Kramer.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Say hi to your little cat.
I babysat two little girls for two years and their parents (mother) just used me for cheap babysetting services because I was too nice and we belonged to the same church. She cared more for her long haired boyfriend than her own girls. And then give me a whole $20 for babysitting the girls for 8 hours and sometimes not even that. When the girls told me their mother used dope, smoked, and drank that made me so mad. She had money for her drugs but not enough to pay the babysitter.
People will play on your symphathy especially if there are kids involved. Those kids are their parent's responsibility not yours. And if they can't feed and clothe them and are using drugs they need to be turned into the police. This may seem harsh but maybe a few drug addicts would think twice before using drugs instead of buying food for their kids.
Usually in those circumstances, just giving them a bag of food, wont help, shell be knocking on your door every week , until you dont have anything left. She has already asked you for alcohol, when you have no money as it is! ..
Those kids, definatly dont have warm clothes, and probably arent getting the proper nutrtion they need, along with regular baths, and dental care. Its sad, and not to say they should necisarrily be taken from the home permentaly but that these parents need to get their shit together , so that these 7 kids can have a stable life.
It is VERY hard for a child to go to school, learn to read, and successed, when they come to school without food in their stomachs.
Often many times, These children suffer from emotional and physical abuse as well, while mom and dad, are on drug binges, bringing strage people in the house, passing out, beating each other up, and having violent mood swings.
Do these kids a favor and make an anynonmus call to child protective services.
As far as the Exchange student. While i think the company and companionship would be great for you, I think that you are looking at it as a "roomate" or way of making rent.. and I fear that you dont quite understand what you're getting into.
You are supposed to be telling the program that you able to give this student a safe home, with a room of his/her own, where they can study and learn, commute and can prepare meals.
Right now, you are having such a hard time, you are having ot rely on the food bank to get food in your pantry. While that is such a blessing, you canot rely on the food bank to feed an exchange student and take on ANOTHER person into your household, when you are struggling yourself to make rent and put food on the table.
Imagine if you did take this child into your home, and two weeks from now, you were unable to get food for a week? I feel its just not being truthfull, to take in someone from the program in your situation.
Perhaps , taking in a roomate though would be a better idea to help you with some of the costs of living?
As far as disability. The tricky part of gaining disability SSDI , is that you have to prove that you cannot do ANY job. however, thats kind of confusing b/c i thought you were pretty close to retirement age?
There are some jobs, which I think you'd be pretty good at. You mentioned your love of books.. Maybe the library? Or some kind of desk job like an answering service? or a secretary?
Best of luck to you!
Like Childrens Clothing, if you see any, shoes, or maybe some old board games, backpacks, school supplies. These kids probably dont have anything.
My mom is a teacher, and she had a parent who had a similar issue with drugs and everyday the child would come to school in rags, so the teachers bought the child all new clothes. Everyday, the child would come back in rags.
They found that the mom was actually selling his clothes and trading them for drugs-- when CPS came later and investigated it. That just makes you want to cry!
So to help the child, you really are doing the best thing you had at your disposial by giving them food, and not money. b/c at least you know their kids are more likely to get it!
you yourself have a struggle going on and you are finding ways to cope and to get through it...already you are helping yourself move to a better place. share this with your neighbors...your example of finding a way through seemingly insurmountable problems. The food pantry that was able to help you might be able to help them.
in our town we have a 'Give and Take Shop'. Free clothes, shoes, everything. You can give, take, or both. Many people do both.
So your example of problem solving and caring about yourself and
But they will have to do what they have to do to take care of themselves and those children.
You mentioned that they or at least the children are affiliated with a church. This is a source of much assistance. Many churches give free space for 12 Step groups and have other volunteer resources for those who attend.
Bless your good heart, and your good wishes for your neighbors. I dosend best wishes your way.