Hi Ellen,

To answer, I actually think that I'll share my experience with you. I hope you don't mind.

Antidepressants maybe take the edge off the worst but what I experienced was that the real treatment actually was in meeting a psychologist who could help me untangle the time-line again.

A rosebush get lice and the solution is to spray it with chemicals and hope to get rid of the lice. A gardner who knows the roses better, does perhaps think about moving the rosebush to a place with better soil and more sunlight. It is the same way with antidepressants. The chemicals only take the symptoms away while the healing treatment is perhaps to have someone to talk with to untangle the problems and find back to hope and faith again.

CNAmedic

I have misgivings about anti-depressants and all the adverse side effects they are known to cause. I lost my son 7 mos. ago and I have been taking Xanax for sleep and nerves...when that happens. I cannot sleep at night since it happened and this med helps me tremendously. I hope this bit of info helps. I am so sorry that you have lost someone....peace to you.....Dale, Brandon's Mom

well antidepressants helped .I only take them now during holidays when the losses are acute..Cymbalta and Celexa helped although celexa's effectiveness declined over time.

Effexor-wellbuterin made me angrier so my doc had to take me off those.

Good luck friend..

It's been a month since my sister was murdered. I've been on anti-depressants for 3 weeks and i see a therapist once a week. Last weekend I had to take my husband to er, pnuemonia and he fell and fractured 4 ribs, punctured a lung. I was a mess. I felt like it was happening all over again. So, I go back to the dr on monday. Therapist mention ptsd. I have anxiety attacks, I'm scared to death of the dark and now I'm afraid of what's going to happen next. My therapist probably helps me the most. She listens, I feel safe telling her everything and anything. I leave her office with a sense of hope. That might only last half the day, but it's more than I had before I went in to see her. I hope you find something that works for you. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Dear Ellen, Finding the right antidepressant,is sometimes trial and error.You first need a good doctor who is willing to work with you untill you find what works for you. Everyone's grief is diffrent and everyone handles it diffrently. Our bodies also respond diffrently to the meds. Like me I am on Wellbutrin, and I also have to take Valium for my severe anziety/panik attacks.I have been on many diffrent antidepressants. I also have been on Xanax instead of the Valium. My body will respond well to this "cocktail" of meds for a while. Maybe a year. Then my doctor has to switch me to something diffrent. My body developes a tollerance to most anything if I take it long. ( I am physically disabiled as well.) I also believe the meds MUST be followed up with counseling. I go to a psycologist. Some go to a Phyciatrist. (they can prescribe the meds AND do the counseling.) My psycologist cannot prescribe drugs, so I go to another Doctor that prescribes my antidepressands, and also handles my pain controll medication.. There are many choices. I have to go, but If you send me a message, I will answer you, and I will try to tell you the answers if I can. I will also try to help you fing the answers from someone else. My prayers are with you,Love Peggy

i'm reading some confusing posts - drugs such as xanax, valium are "benzodiazepines" - they are in the drug category of anti-anxiety medications, typically meant for relatively short term use. klonopin is another. zoloft, wellbutrin - these are anti-depressants. the actuall anti-depressants address what most often becomes an imbalance in one's brain chemistry, due to fight/flight adrenaline surges. medically, it's about a two-pronged approach to dealing wiht true clinical depression - if the brain chemistry can begin to be 'righted', the client can listen better, hear better, begin to interpret and internalize whatever their new reality is. many would day a chemical imbalance cannot itself only be righted by drugs, nor thru talk therapy alone.

what i always find so interesting in human behvior (VERY much including my own) is this desire for one single way that works bes - when, no matter what it is, a muti-facted response is almost always the best and most complete response.

My Granson died on July 14th and I'm still having a tough time - my "real" MD doctor put me on 10 mgs of Lexapro and 2 mgs of Klonopin right after his death - and it helped a lot - I had the normal crying of grieve but I didn't feel the urge to scream and just ake off and start running because i couldn't stand his loss any longer. Then I turned 65 and went to an HMO thru Mediacare - big mistake - they changed me to Celexa (starting at 20 mgs and upping it each week until I was on 60 mgs per day) and instead of Klonopin they had me on Desyrel for sleep - because those were "approved" by the HMO - 1 full month of uncontrolable sobbing - I was totally unable to function - FINALLY the HMO admitted what they were using didn't work for me - I'm now on 20mgs of Lexapro/day and 2mgs of Klonopin/day and I have Xanax to take up to 3 times a day for those bouts that sometimes just overtake you - and I am not a Zombie - I still grieve for Grant but my crying for him is "normal" whatever that means - about 20 mins two or three times a day for me - everyone is different - talking doesn't help me at all - I'm not a talker so counseling is no help. But the medication helps me get through the day and actually be able to focus on work for 3 to 4 hours at a stretch. I hope this helps you.

I personally found my counselor to be insulting to my grief cycle. Telling me to "get out" and "try and move past this" That wold be when I looked at her and said "so how many tragic losses have you had?" she replied "none but I have had extensive schooling in this area" LOL I am sorry but trying to help somebody through a loss such as we have had can not possibly be learned through a book. The best thing I did was find this site! When I need to talk, or vent, are rant, I can find more support here than I can anywhere else. I have an awesome family and support system. But some days I just need to be understood. I welcome you to this site, although I am sad all the same to see you here. The issue with the meds....well some people find that they help and some find that they don't. I took ambien off and on for the first year after I lost my son to help me sleep, and I was on wellbutrin then zoloft now back to wellbutrin. It is just whatever works for you. You will know when it is right.

Sandyslilsis,

I feel like you do and I am afraid of everything. I am fearfulof the next thing that will happen. I lost my boyfriend on August 27th and then my cat almost died 2 weeks later. There were a lot of other things that happened in between too. Now I am in so much debt with no job prospects just a seasonal job and I am in a bad frame of mind and the economy is so bad so many other pople are out of work. I feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown. With no money for treatment I am on my own. I can feel for you with your anxiety. I am always on edge. I go to a support group and that helps a bit and have been leaning heavily on friends who mostly do all the talking truthfully but they do listen a bit.

QP

I wish I could offer you more than just my sympathy and support. I do have a suggestion - because of your situation, you might want to try to contact your state and local agencies as well as the Social Security department to see if they can offer you some services, like couseling and Rx support at litle or no cost to you. And that's why we pay taxes - please don't be embarrased to ask for help - the worst they can say is "no" so you won't be any worse off than you are now. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm hear if you need to talk - friends are great but they usually just don't "get it."

Hi Ellen, I'm new here too. I lost my mom on July 28th, two weeks after my first son was born. I have been struggling with grief and post-partum depression, and have been taking Sertraline, which is the generic for Zoloft. It hasn't done much for me either.

I just recently met with a therapist and just having someone to talk to really helped me. Just look for behavioral health centers near your home and make an appointment. I think you'll be glad you did.