Bereavement Support Group
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The minister told me that sunday it will be 15 months and he wants me to "get on with my life".Does anyone know know what this means? I havent got a clue.Brad and i were together for 12 and half years.He was like a big lug and he was lovable (when he was sober) and Brad could do anything.He could cook.He could clean the house and he loved the cats.....but in the end Brad choose to end his life and everyday i cry.The other day I cried for one hour that I went to the bus station and I throw up.People have been telling me that I am better off without Brad and that he was cruel to me towards the end.(This is true) Before he died,Brad abused Tooey and Tooey died on July 20th,2010.My cat had very severe
i9nternal injuries but she had a big heart and she loved me.My cat Tooey died in my arms and i buried her in the yard and everyday i go to the grave and I cry.I didnt know of the abuse until after she died.But what does this minister mean? You see,I am a low income senior and I cant afford all of these trips.The groups in seattle are expensive.The dues are 30-100.00 dollars a year.I cant afford to go on these trips as I am trying to get a roommate and trying to save the house.It has been a constant struggle and today I am broke again.So how do I go on with my life? What do these people mean? And since I dont drink,dont take drugs and
smoke...how does a senior who is grieving meet new people? The peop-le in seattle are different.I went to the fashion show.I really tried.And There
were several ladies at the table.NOT ONE OF THESE WOMEN SPOKE TO ME AT ALL.THEY ALL SPOKE TO EACH OTHER AND I THINK THAT THEY WERE AVOIDING ME...HAS ANYONE EXPERIECNED THIS PROBLEM? i felt so bad that I cried after the show and didnt even eat my dinner.(which wasnt any good).SO what am I doing wrong? Kramer is fine and she now accepts the fact the Tooey and Tuffy are gone.She is always with me now and I love her to death.And what does it mean when someone tells you this.....that they knew Brad was depressed.Shouldnt they have told me? I would have taken him to the hospital and he would have been well and I would still be with him today.I miss Brad and I will admit this...I am lonely.I feel so alone.I feel dammned.vader.
i9nternal injuries but she had a big heart and she loved me.My cat Tooey died in my arms and i buried her in the yard and everyday i go to the grave and I cry.I didnt know of the abuse until after she died.But what does this minister mean? You see,I am a low income senior and I cant afford all of these trips.The groups in seattle are expensive.The dues are 30-100.00 dollars a year.I cant afford to go on these trips as I am trying to get a roommate and trying to save the house.It has been a constant struggle and today I am broke again.So how do I go on with my life? What do these people mean? And since I dont drink,dont take drugs and
smoke...how does a senior who is grieving meet new people? The peop-le in seattle are different.I went to the fashion show.I really tried.And There
were several ladies at the table.NOT ONE OF THESE WOMEN SPOKE TO ME AT ALL.THEY ALL SPOKE TO EACH OTHER AND I THINK THAT THEY WERE AVOIDING ME...HAS ANYONE EXPERIECNED THIS PROBLEM? i felt so bad that I cried after the show and didnt even eat my dinner.(which wasnt any good).SO what am I doing wrong? Kramer is fine and she now accepts the fact the Tooey and Tuffy are gone.She is always with me now and I love her to death.And what does it mean when someone tells you this.....that they knew Brad was depressed.Shouldnt they have told me? I would have taken him to the hospital and he would have been well and I would still be with him today.I miss Brad and I will admit this...I am lonely.I feel so alone.I feel dammned.vader.
One of the best ways to help yourself is to help others. Volunteer to help someone. There are a hundred ways to do it, sit down an make a list, then start phoning.
Write down your talents. What can you do with them?
Get out of the house every day, see new things.
Don't be passive, go up to people and introduce yourself, smile, ask them something about themselves
Check out different churches, clubs. Read about groups in the paper. Visit a few, if you like one, join.
I hope some of these ideas work for you and wish you the very best.
Hugs, Jani
Tom B. aka Ihman
I am not sure of what the minister meant. That comment seems like it could have meant different things. Perhaps you could set another visit with the minister and ask what was meant.
As far as things to do to that are life affirming and fun:
Is there a Senior Center in your town? They often have vans and maybe you could try that.
Maybe the library in your town has some book groups that are free and that you would enjoy. They have quite a few here in my town.
Perhaps if you volunteered at a Food Pantry /Soup kitchen you would be eligible for free meals and also meet new people.
Often schools have programs where seniors can read to young children...a sort of buddy program. would that interest you?
Are there any grief support groups through Hospice there?
Is there a Suicide Survivors group?
Are there groups at your Church that you haven;t tried yet? Are you in the Choir? Churches are always looking for folks to volunteer on committees and one can meet a LOT of people that way. SOme of our closest friends are from this source.
You mention being a low income senior. Are you maybe eligible for low income housing? If so perhaps you could rent out your whole house for some income.
Thinking of you and hoping that your grief is eased and that you find some wonderful people to be in your life. my best and hopeful wishes for you....
Grief takes as long as it takes. In the meantime, take care of yourself, think about things that you enjoy...hobbies, activities, etc.
And if ever I find myself in Seattle, I'll take you up on that cup of java' : )
Here's to sunnier days ahead!