Dear Vader, I am sorry that all of this has happened. You deserved better! I perform memorial services through a hospice. Generally, when a person says, "so and so had a lot going for him/her," it means that the person was a good person and it is a generic way of expressing something positive. If I do not know the person well, I allow others to share so that the service is more personal.

I never heard of "so and so had a lot going for her" meaning anything but positives. It usually means things like she had a lot of friends, a great job, a useful college degree and fabulous nails that never chipped. It seems like an odd thing to say about someone who just died, though.

The term "had alot going for her/him means...To have things in their favor..They had accomplished goals/task, or had skills.
To have accomplishments.

I want to thank all who has replied and I am just feeling so much better and at 61...I am finally happy.This doctor and medication has made me into a much different person..but I do thank you for what said about the minister.You see...this was a last minute thing and that is all I know.I have got a question...who do you contact if a minister isnt available?

once again...thanks..The reason why I am asking this phrase has been said a lot around the seattle area lately and some of us are a bit confused by what it really means.I guess if you have a good life and done good to others,that is all that matters.Vader

Hi Vader, To the best of my knowledge 'had a lot going for her' is a positive statement. I agree with the others on its meaning.
As far as who do you get if a minister is not available, my choice would be a person of faith and courage to say a few words about the person. Personally my faith feels we are all 'ministers', 'disciples' whatever you call them. The 'minister' of my church is there to teach us how to hear God speak and to respond. So if the person has faith and courage, he/she would be most acceptable to speak. Sharon

Once again.I am getting such wonderful thingss.But hasnt anyone noticed that this phrase is mentioned on some soap operas and the made for tv movies? I am just so much better and the cats have been real stinky.The lady across the street sold her house.The price was 460,000.00! Can anyone believe this?

That phrase "had a lot going for him/her" is not a bad comment .It is NOT a bad or negative thing. It means that tis person had a lot of good things in their life. It means that the had full ,good lives. Rest easy .It is a compliment. Peggy

vader,

Often this is used to sum up a person without having to come up with all the specifics of what they have accomplished in their life. SOmetimes it may be used by someone who really did not know the individual personally to note those things. Its just an easy way to put that they indeed had a lot of positive things in their lives and about them.

I am SO glad you are feeling better! I think I may need some of whatever your Dr is giving you, my friend:)

Its so nice to feel kind of normal again, isn't it? You deserve that as its been tough for you.

I agree with the others in that if you do not know a minister, the funeral home usually has a chaplain on staff and can give you names of others if that one is not available if you do not know of anyone to perform a service. But, as was already mentioned, I think its nice to have someone that knew about our loved one even if they are not a minister in the legal sense of occupation.

I have a pet peeve about getting a minister to perform a service dedicated to a loved one and instead they use it to preach a generic sermon. That makes me angry especially if you have asked them to do the service in honor of the one you lost. Not that its not a good time to share God's love, that is fine. But, when they forget the person that the service is for (and I been to those kind), that tans my hyde!

Plus, I do not know how its done other places but where we live, its tradition to pay the pastor for his time. Its not referred to as "pay" mind you but trust me, they are waiting for their $75.00!! Not all of them, please DON'T take me wrong here as I know all of them are not that way.

Since I am reading it out of context I can only think it is actually a positive statement. Someone with "a lot going for him/her" is someone doing well. i.e. She was in school, had a great job, had a husband and children, etc... It is usually not a negative to simply say that. What ELSE did he say? In what context was it used?

I think you just may have some confusion because you are not used to the term. It is said in many parts of the country, not just Seattle.

Hope this helps.

Hey vader,

I am a Pastor/Minister and I have never used that phrase in the 33 years in the ministry. I do agree though that it was probably meant in a positive way. I have done a lot of funerals in fact, I have done 4 in the last 11 days. Most of the people I do funerals for knew me or I knew them however, I have done funerals for those that I didn't know. When I am asked to do a funeral of someone i didn't know, I contact the family and find out about the loved one who has passed. What they liked, their hobbies, their personality, and goals in life.

By doing this, it make the funeral more of a personal one rather than a "generic" one as the other reply stated.

I am on the Funeral Director's Pastoral list along with 3 or 4 other Pastors. This gives the family a choice of who they would like to conduct the service.

I hope this helps you understand from a Pasotr's point of view.

If someone says " you have a lot going for you" I would take it as a compliment. It probably means you had many attributes. It is a term of endearment, actually.