I like to think of things as emotions of grief rather than stages. The idea that dealing with death in a sequence of stages that come in a predictable sequence never made sense to me. Emotions are very often triggered by events, we can deal with the emotions, or we can deal with the triggers, or we can deal with both!

Can you identify anything that makes you angry? Are you angry at people who could have prevented their deaths? Are you angry that they died? Are you angry that they are not here for you when you nee them?

Knowing what you are angry about may help you deal with it.

I lost both my parents, but about a year apart. I was angry that they were no longer able to be with me, but now it is more accurate to say that I am sad that they are no longer with me. As more time passes I will accept it, and be able to talk about who much I enjoyed them, and how certain things would have made them smile. I guess I am part way there, I have days where I can look at somethings my grown children have done and think about how proud my parents would have been over that.

I am sorry for your loss, but pleased to meet you.

Thank you for replying to my post and to answer your question about my anger, it's all the above! I'm mad they left, I'm mad that I'm all alone, I'm angry at the whole world in general.

Big hug for you SG.... I am so sorry for your loss..... I have lost my birth family as well and it's very painful... I went through a period of anger as well

Anger is one of the stages or grief or emotions of grief as Pepper wrote..... There are 5 stages that we can go through.... Sometimes we do get 'stuck' in a stage

There is a lot about it online and Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has written wonderful books about death and dying

Anger is also a secondary emotion....in other words something has caused it.... fear or frustration

A RL bereavement group might help you to vent how you're feeling in a safe and healthy environment

I'm glad you've come to DS.... Big hug.....xo

I know some of what your feeling I am new to this grief thing, why just the other day i was overwhelmed with anger and i did not know what i was angry at. i think its just one of those things. every day its something else. it was not their choice to leave us so we can't be mad at them, or we can be angry at them and we can also say sorry and still feel as though they forgive us. like today i tried to start my ol mans Harley it was a cool 40 degrees today electric start quit working so i had to try to kick start it. well after an hour of off and on kicking and kicking it got the better of me and i was so angry i yelled at him and silence is all that answered back and all the sudden i felt better and i said i was sorry and decided to try again another day. its just this human condition that we are all going through. tell us a story about them i would love to hear one or two.

I felt compelled to reply immediately to you, not because I have answers for you at this moment but more to tell you that I am experiencing a very similar situation; my Dad passed of a heart attack November 6th 2016 at 66 years old, I became my Mom's caregiver putting my grief on hold to help her through hers, long story short after several hospital visits and desperate pleading for a psychiatric intervention, she died 39 days later...I can't even tell you the immense roller coaster it has been, I too have kids and my oldest who is 12 was Bonded at the hip with his Papa, his Papa and Grandma could walk on water in his eyes and for me, my Dad was MY go-to Person for everything...full of knowledge, life and energy and I felt so connected to him as he was the only person who got me...the world becomes a different place when you lose the people who loved you unconditionally and was always a place to go....I have a Brother who has been estranged from the family but I'm trying to build a bond with him since this happened as he is basically my only family left...anyways, that gives you an idea that I'm in the thick of things although I'm in the current stage where everyone else has seemingly moved on and I feel like my presence is only a reminder to them, so It's hard to know who to turn to in situations as this...I am sending good vibes your way and just know that you are never really alone in this world...even when we feel like it, you reminded me that when I read your post and I hope my experience has given you a sense that there are people who understand, take care xoxo -- Hallie

I'm so sorry to hear that and know exactly what you're going through. I lost my mom to cancer and 9 years later this past January my dad went into the hospital feeling sick and never walked out. His last words were that he wasn't ready to go. It makes my chest ache just thinking about it. But I also think he never really got over my mom's death and he drank heavily. His liver was failing and his body was just not strong enough to fight off the infection. I feel like my mom was watching him and saw he was in pain and took him home with her. I'm angry that I lost both of them so soon but I'm grateful for the time I did have with them. They made me into the woman I am now. When I look in the mirror, I see them and that gives me comfort.

My heart goes out to you, while I have lost my mother to Breast Cancer in 2013, I still have my daddy. I wish that I could tell you that the pain will end; but in my mind and what I still feel today for my mother, the pain only lessens it doesn't disappear. As someone stated in earlier post, grief has 5 stages and anger is one of them. Please understand , that you have every right to feel angry, however, it is most salient for you to find out where the anger is coming from or why you're angry. As time continues to tick, you will experience anger, denial, abandonment, regret, etc. but this is okay because all of these emotions are natural and necessary for the grieving process. Peace and love to you!!!!!

Grief has a lot of stages and one is angry. They come in no real order and just as you think you got through one it will come back. It is a cycle and losing both parent so close is difficult. Losing one parent is difficult. I just lost my mom March 6 and I am having so many kinds of feelings. I lost my son in 09 and that was and is still so difficult to deal with. Although I knew mom's time was coming, I am not sure one is ever ready to lose your mom or dad. It takes a day at a time...a step at a time...and what your feeling is ok.....These groups are great to help in sharing feelings...to say how you feel and not be told your wrong. Sending love your way.