Bereavement Support Group
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I havent written in a while.But I am telling everyone that my niece died on my birthday She was 48.It was a brain thing and she was found in the driveway of her home.Sandra was the middle child and she could be very difficult but she loved the other children and had a respect for me.What can I say? On October 5th,I turned 64 and then I got the call the next day.My only brother Stanley waited.He wanted me to have a nice birthday.The two and half years that I have been mourning Brad have been so difficult and my o nly friend now is my cat Kramer.Kramer is 13 years old and she sleeps with me and she is helping me in this very difficult time.I am also Bi Polar and this adds a great deal of stress also.I am not on medication at this time.I had a bad reaction to it.I fainted on Kramer and was sick all night and when this happned I called the nurse and told her no more.Grief is a terrible thing to go through.I am in a lot of pain.I still cry every day over Brad and I still say to myself it is all my fault.Do you know that people who want to committ suicide give signs? I
did not know this.For i have been selfish.And I have hurt a lot of people with my self centered ness and all i want to say is this if I have hurt anyone I am sorry.How I can recover from the death of my beloved niece?
What shall I do now? The grief therapy isnt helping me and I am so alone and this is my favorite song ALone Again Naturally.Thanks to all.
did not know this.For i have been selfish.And I have hurt a lot of people with my self centered ness and all i want to say is this if I have hurt anyone I am sorry.How I can recover from the death of my beloved niece?
What shall I do now? The grief therapy isnt helping me and I am so alone and this is my favorite song ALone Again Naturally.Thanks to all.
Your post struck me as being something that made me wonder how you are getting up. You must be in a great deal of pain. First, there are many forms of bi-polar medication available. In fact some are much more tolerable than others. Please consider trying these new ones. Also being bi-polar and not taking your medication can lead to a much more stressful life for you. Bi-polar disorder is very serious and needs to be controlled so you can feel good. Second, Suicide, funny thing about suiicide, yes they do give signs, sometimes, not always. Did you know that most people who commit suicide do not share their true feelings with anyone close to them, they are functional in their daily living and do not want to burden those who love them with their troubles. So to that end you are not selfish, you could not have caused the suicide. If you did, it would be murder, not suicide. You clearly have a lot of love passion as your post clearly indicates. So what to do now? Consider seeing your physican and discuss some other medications, in my experience clients who are bi-polar on the right medication are much happier. Also remember there is one more variable, the dosage, ask them to start you off on the lowest dose, then increase as needed. Most psychological drugs take two to three weeks to kick in. Finally, find a different therapist. If who/what you are going to now is not working then move on. It's okay, therapists won't get hurt. it is their interest to help you, not feel popular.
Please keep me posted on your progress.
Hugs
Shannon