Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

3,879 Members
13,419 Posts
1 Online
Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

things to do before and after the funeral vader

vader
vader
DO you think that people forget during the funeral?Some of these people who are offering comfort really are a bunch of jackasses.How can you help a person who is grieving? Here are a few things that everyone can do.Instead of mailing the sympathy card....why not bring it over to the house? Or better yet funeral parlor? Grieving people need to know that their support is always there.And remember this be polite.When you see a rabbi or minister ....please dont hog his time.HE IS NOT THERE TO SEE YOU....MIND YOUR BUSINESS! lEAVE THE GRIEVING PEOPLE ALONE WITH THESE SPIRITUAL ADVISORS...Also be super nice.Do not ask....HOW DID HE/She die? Why on earth do you want to know this? My reply is this....WHY ARE ;YOU SO NOSY....YOU WERE NOT THERE.ANd please remember that all grieving people n eed nourishment.Do not bring any more of these silly cakes.How about a tuna casserole or
lasanga? How about milk ,soda or wine? For the children,bags of potato chips or doritos would be nice.When you go to the home ,do not ask and I mean ask ....What are you going to do now? WHy are you concerned? If the house is in foreclosure and they lost it...there isnt much anyone can do except offer kindly advice and remember that these are hard times.If the greving person wants to cry...let her.If crying upsets you...please do me a favor and go home.Crying helps and after I cry I feel so much better.And remember to stay in touch
call the peerson at least once a week and see how they are doing and
see if you can help witth the laundry or groceries for the time being.ANd never ask and I mean never ask what was in the will.
a
deleted_user
deleted_user
Vader I really think the majority of people who go to funerals or to homes are not trying to be jackasses, but are only trying to help. Yes it is awkward and sometimes they might say things that feel worng ..like "I'm sorry for your loss" After my step mom died my dad would get so mad because everyone said that.
When we have a loss the pain is so great and our nerves are on the edge anything can hurt. Most people do not read minds and at times it might be necessary (if you are that sensitive) to tell people what you need, or do not need.
Thanks for getting out the word to be sensitive to others suffering. We are all so different and what may seem comforting to one may not be for someone else.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Vader...amen!!! I'm with you on that one xxxx
deleted_user
deleted_user
A lot of people DON'T THINK before they speak. The person who has had the loss is hurting and full of pain, that person needs compassionate people around them saying if you need me, I'll be there - Do you need me to help you with anything at this time - and keeping in touch with the ones who are grieving and hurting is also the best policy in helping them out, letting them vent when needed, having a shoulder for them to cry on, just plain and simple BE THERE, TRY TO COMFORT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, TRY TO HELP WITH THEM WITH THINGS IN THEIR HOMES because no one is up to doing anything at this time. If you need to talk, please contact me I'm here for you, I have a shoulder if you need to cry, my ears are open to listen when you talk, my words will comfort you. tc GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. laura
vader
vader
thanks for all of your r eplies.But people today just dont know what to say to people who are grieving and sometimes this shows at the very presence of a funeral.My heart broke 3 years ago and it cant be mended.I am trying to do so,but I cant and remember I will always be here for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Vader,
I have had a lot of support since my husband's death 7 mths ago, and I can remember how hard it was for some of our friends to express themselves. I can't be upset, because there were so many others who did not call, or write or even visit. People who I thought would be there for me. Perhaps some of them did not know, but it still makes me wonder. Those with whom I appreciated contact with the most were two women friends of mine who each lost their husbands , one the week before and one the week after. Even though they were grieving they came, said nothing, but we sat together and cried. That was the best thing!!! We have stayed in contact and we go out, and sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, but we share something special, and I know I am the better for it. This is why I also love DS, it like finding a whole world of friends who know just what your going through. Lean on Me, I'll be here.
Marsha
koolman
koolman
I think if more of us were not afraid to cry, that would help! What's the big deal about crying? It's spiritual cleansing! It's not a sign of weakness, but actually uncovers a strength that is unimagineably formidable!

We're here for you...
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • deleted_user

    Food Allergy?

    Posted by: deleted_user
    Last Reply: Iafaforallergy
    7
    My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...