You guys honored Bills wishes so don't even let the new priest get to you. Just know you did what you thought was right and that's all anyone can do.

Good ole catholic priest trying to do the funeral their way. When my son died in 89 I wanted a couple of songs played. Being catholic stopped that. So the only song that was played was wind beneath my wings. No singing only piano playing. I left the catholic church not long after. I don't want my funeral to be depressing when I pass. Did you say this was a catholic funeral? Or did I just suppose it was by the way the church looked down on them. I think who let the dogs out is a great song for a funeral. Aren't we there to celebrate the life of the one who passed. Sorry, I ramble sometimes.

Thanks for your replies.Man....that priest was mad,but we had to honor Bills wishes.Some of the funeral songs are so depressing and noone wants to even this now with all this going on.I like the song...Who let The Dogs Out..it is still being played today.And I hope that Bill liked what we planned for him.thanks to all again .

I hope you all don't mind my opinion. I am Catholic and tend to just follow what I'm told. A year before my mother's passing (while everyone said I was in denial), I was calling the church where I'd planned to have Mom's funeral Mass (whenver that would be) asking about what was permitted, etc. in music. It was my intention to sing a song myself - without musical accompaniment (a religious song that I knew Mom loved) during Holy Communion. She had never requested any preferences, since Mom wasn't one who'd want to discuss this type of thing. I was told that no music was permitted aside from choir, which might not be available. And I just obeyed. But I didn't have bad feelings about that.

The cemetery (along with a couple of bad decisions on my part) helped mess things up - since the priest came with us at my request - to another state - for a planned gravesite service - which never occurred. Weather? Excuses? I'll never know fact from anything - but my cashier's check was collected. The priest ended up just reciting some prayers in the cemetery chapel - where I had to leave my Mom. It occurred to me months later that I could have sung the hymn - THEN...THEN ! She's gone. I didn't do anything right - even putting something that would have mattered to her by or near her coffin during the wake. And I now have other issues, recently come up - which have me very scared that I did more wrong before her death.

I obeyed the rules, including the cemetery's. I'm guessing the song "Who let the dogs out" was maybe - a bit more untraditional than expected? I'm sorry for Sophie - or anyone who is suffering pain following their loss. I understand the pain. Maybe, the priests see the funeral as a serious side - that moving on to a more spritual life - than even they know until they get there. So, it's looked at with a more restricted/serious approach.

It seems that no matter what we do - something goes wrong. I had no bad feelings towards the Church for not being allowed to sing. I hope you all won't hate me for my opinion - but I'm one who just figures - rules are rules.

I am a lifelong Catholic and have had my faith tested many many times. I'm sorry but I have to disagree here. My mom died at 91. She was the one who had all the parties. We always had to live in a big place so mom could have everybody over. Her biggest worry was not having enough food or drink for everyone who came. She and my dad always knew how to laugh. That was their legacy to me. However, when she died, curled up in a fetal position, her eyes glazed, she was not the same person, she was my mom. She had asked for cremation which allowed me a few weeks to plan a memorial service and for my sister's kids to come in from out of town. I chose the hymns at the church service, in conjunction with their acceptability. I gave a eulogy called "My mom" which I have posted here before, which told how much she loved family and enjoyed a good time. After the service we retreated to a restuarant with a private room and told stories of the parties over the years. There were many memories recalled and at the end we toasted my mom as the "Lady who had the best parties". Immediate family went to the cemetary for a short service there. The deacon who gave the service at the cemetary talked of seeds and growing and told a story of a town that found corn seeds that were over 100 years old. They planted the seeds to see if they would still grow. As the deacon cupped his left fist around his right hand, his middle finger rose above the fist as he sadi: "and the corn grew". I was aghast but said nothing. That night as we gathered with her grandchildren, putting an end to a memorable day, I asked if anyone noticed anything unusual about the cemetary service. My son said; "oh, you mean when the deacon gave us the finger?". We all laughed and indeed it was a fitting end for a lady who knew how to laugh. Churches have rules and for most it is a solemn time in church. You could have had a special service like we did at lunch to the things he requested and that would be great. Just because a priest says it can't be done in the church doesn't mean you can't do it. Temples and evangelistic churches have their rules too and we should respect them. You can always go church shopping if you're not happy. Personally I believe the Catholic faith, not the people who represent it. They are human and can make mistakes just like the rest of us. They are representatives, not God.

to all again...when i was 7 years old in St.Annes we had choir.The man was Joseph Cwerko.and i have sang and collected music for all of my life..but I dont want to hurt SOphies FEELINGS AT ALL.But i dont think some of the songs that I picked out were approxiamtate for a funeral.Bill passed on 3 weeks ago and already people have been complaining to me and what can I do? Bill was my first friend.I met him in 1995.And when he asked me...what can a person do? How can a person deal with a friend who is dying? Did I act out of spite or sheer selfishness? What would you do if someone told you that you only had weeks to live? I am still at a loss for words...Grief is a cery powerful emotion and I am going thru the acceptance of Franks death...i havent cried at all and I havent felt the sadness..but i feel so abandoned.I feel so alone and I feel neglected.Dont these feeling every go away?

In reply to DaisyDuck -
My Mom was 99 (two months shy of 100). Didn't know we shared that. Not knowing what b'day would be her last, I had an open house b'day party on her 99th, inviting Hospice workers, neighbors, etc. Mom refused even a taste of cake (I don't think she knew it was her birthday) but I have the pictures and the memories. The house was filled with pictures of her - 99 years' worth - It was a celebration of her life. Ironically, those carefully prepared pics would be at her wake as well. I think Mama would have been pleased with what I did - although displeased with other things - things that haunt me now.

If I understood correctly, you're saying that other, less traditional music / traditions were carried out - outside of the Church itself? If so, that's okay. If a person has left some requests, within reason, outside of a religious building would be the place for it - but not necessarily at grave site out of respect for other nearby mourners. During a repast, etc., it couldn't hurt to remember/celebrate a person's life (though I don't think I'd consider "the finger" one of 'em!)

I only wish we could help Sophie through this trying time. We're all here for the same reason. I can't get over my grief - it may even be increasing - 18 months later. It's only here that we understand the pain that others tell us to "get over" or "move on" with. Good or bad - the memories become ingrained.

Hey Vader.

I'm sorry for your bad experience and I understand why you picked the music you did.

I'm a Catholic and while I don't always agree with the Church, I do feel that a funeral should be dignified and "Who Let the Dogs Out" isn't really dignified. I guess the priest probably felt the same, but telling the congregation off from the pulpit AT THE FUNERAL wasn't very dignified of him! Really, there's a time and a place Father!

Remember though, that he is human and he does make mistakes and this was one of them.

Sorry for your loss and again, sorry for your bad experience.

C.

To all who replied a big thank you.Believe me that priest was really mad..but this is the first time that i planned music for a funeral before and the music we had at my fathers was just so depressing...Who Let The Dogs Out was Bills favorite song..but it shouldnt have been played..look it is done and it is over..but lets try to remember that some people look upon
the music of a funeral different.I found this out .once again thanks.