Hello, I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom knows you did everything you could to save her and I'm sure she is thankful for this, and loves you every much. I had the same helpless feeling after taking my dad to hospital 3 times in November, staying there with him and not sleeping and eating for 3 weeks advocating for his treatment.

Sadly I lost him on 13 December, 2015. I berate myself for not doing more, for not understanding that the morphine they gave him could lead gradually to his death. The memories haunt me daily. I lost 7 lbs but I forced myself to eat my favorite foods so I can still care for my mom.

It was such a busy time arranging the funeral, reorganizing our home, his cremation and ash scattering, going back to work - that I went through that time like a zombie, quite emotionless.

Now that things have "settled down" somewhat, I'm like you, crying a lot - life seems to have no purpose, nothing is enjoyable, finding it difficult to relate to or trust anyone. I just want to crawl into bed and wake up and find it was all a nightmare.

But we will get through this, even through all the pain, and sleepless nights, and a big empty hole in our hearts. I know this because my friends of my age have lost a parent and after about 1-2 years, they almost seem normal again. I'm hoping this for us too.

Sending a warm hug ...

Sometimes extended illnesses like your mother's can make us feel like we are running a long marathon. A 12 month marathon in your case. It consumes our every waking hour, and then all of a sudden it is over.

That can be a huge shock and requires an equally huge adjustment.

By all means, let yourself cry! There are so many emotions we have to deal with following a death like that, it will take some time.

I am so very sorry for your loss, sad for the reasons that have introduced us, but happy to have met you.

Gentle hugs

I am so sorry to read of ALL of your losses. I am 56, a single mother, have 3 kids in their 20's. My 81-year-old mother died 3 weeks ago. I know when other people say someone that old died I think "Well, they lived a long life." But even though my mother was 81, she was still very much Mom. She was very active, walked a lot, lifted small weights. And then bam, had a stroke out of the blue. Between the hospital and hospice, it was over in a week. Shock, terror, exhaustion, despair. Got an anti-depressant and sleep medication from the doctor. Helps numb it while still letting you wail and grieve. This is the the most devastating time of my life. My father died 30 years ago, and that was devastating, but my mother and I were best friends. I am so sorry for all of you. I was going to go to a local support group, but I'm not sure about the group crying thing. And I am worried about people who have lost children -- I probably also believe that nothing can be worse than losing a child. So I would rather go to a group for adults grieving over a parent. Anyway, I have gone on and on. Hope I can help someone else grieve, maybe find support, somehow now that I've gotten all that out of the way.

CatLady:

I am so sorry for your loss. I think that people try to say something supportive and comforting, but if they have not experienced a similar loss they often fumble and miss the mark.

I think that we can all find a new normal that works for us.

Gentle hugs to all!

Hello all,

Reading these comments I am glad to see thoughts just like I had (and still have). I also feel no purpose and find no joy in anything. Lately I have no concentration on my favorite TV shows. That used to work for me and they are not working anymore. What is the worst for me is that not being able to enjoy things I once enjoyed, so in the end it's like "what is the point in even living?" Why just drag through each day more miserable than the last?

I think about the things I once loved and my sister also loved them (movies and TV shows) and there is no real joy anymore. We were looking forward to Batman vs. Superman and others continued on with their excitement when the movie came out, but I was just filled with despair and sadness. No one to get excited about it with, no one to go see it with. No one to talk about it with. I truly hate this life now.

I am sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom on December 19,2015 she was my best friend. I have a very hard time living without her I cry myself to sleep every night. She was my rock and glue that held me together since my dad died in July of 2003. I talked to my mom about everything she would try to guild me to do the right thing It feels I have lost everything. Even thou I have my husband and two sons it just seems like it doesn't matter because My Mom is not here.

HardToHandle;

I hear you about losing our parents. Both of mine passed away: mom in August of 2014, dad in August of 2015. (My birth month is August, and my sister passed away in August of 2011)

Dad's passing hit me rather hard as it marked the end of the family I was born into. My wife did not understand it, I don't think she understands it still. But her point was very valid; I have a very good family, one that my children were born into. They are very much alive, my wife is very much alive, and I needed to get back among the living.

You can get there, we all can get there. I think our first step is to accept that we need to get back into our life, and then commit to getting there.

Gentle hugs to all!

"THE PEPPER MAN
I really do understand the feeling of my husband don't understand. I do need to try and relize my boys and husband needs me. But it is so hard. I really wish they understood how I feel. My youngest son I think understands because he is so in tune with my moods he will look at me and give me a big hug and kiss he tells me it will be ok. But I'm afraid I'm not.