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After many long talks with my dad, we both got to wondering what ever happened to my mother's second husband. He was listed on the death certificate. But the question that has been resonating in both of our minds is who is taking care of her affairs?
Apparently, my aunt has no interest whatsoever in contacting me. I don't understand it. I don't know what I could have possibly done to cause all of them to turn their backs on me. Whatever the reason may be, it's probably for the best! I really don't want--or need--that negativity in my kids' lives.
What started out as a means to end in trying to solve the mystery as to what had actually happened--but to also satisfy our curiosity--I wrote a letter to my mother as if she was still alive, and sent it to her address listed on the death certificate. We (my dad and I) were both hoping that it would be intercepted by someone, but it was returned yesterday. Fairly quickly, since it was going all the way across the country, and I had just mailed on the 18th.
Surprisingly, my dad is more upset that no one intercepted it than I am. I know he had his own agenda...he wants the Bible back that he gifted to my mom many, many years ago. And quite frankly, his concern over that Bible as opposed to my baby photos is appalling. A Bible is important and sacred--the most important "library" one could own--but to place more emphasis on a gift over someone's photos of their child as a baby?
Although I was kind of expecting that to be the outcome of that "experiment," it still stings a little bit. Not as much as before, though, so I guess that's good. Although I'm little concerned about my dad now. He didn't really react when I told him about Mom. But his reaction to the letter being returned was like it didn't even register with him. He said, "Oh great! She must've moved and now we don't know where. So, how do we find her new address?"
For her 60th, I ended up buying some flowers at Publix with a small cake. They didn't have chocolate with buttercream, but the vanilla was nice. It went very well with the arrangement I put together at home. I attached a family photo from when I was 3 weeks old to the vase and set on our dining table. My husband has since refilled it with fresh flowers. The other night I heard my daughter asking who the baby was, and my husband was teaching it's a family picture of Mommy, Grandpa & Grandma. It was a very touching moment! Even though they're young and never had a chance to meet or even speak to her, they'll still who she was. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go that route, but God decided for me.
Apparently, my aunt has no interest whatsoever in contacting me. I don't understand it. I don't know what I could have possibly done to cause all of them to turn their backs on me. Whatever the reason may be, it's probably for the best! I really don't want--or need--that negativity in my kids' lives.
What started out as a means to end in trying to solve the mystery as to what had actually happened--but to also satisfy our curiosity--I wrote a letter to my mother as if she was still alive, and sent it to her address listed on the death certificate. We (my dad and I) were both hoping that it would be intercepted by someone, but it was returned yesterday. Fairly quickly, since it was going all the way across the country, and I had just mailed on the 18th.
Surprisingly, my dad is more upset that no one intercepted it than I am. I know he had his own agenda...he wants the Bible back that he gifted to my mom many, many years ago. And quite frankly, his concern over that Bible as opposed to my baby photos is appalling. A Bible is important and sacred--the most important "library" one could own--but to place more emphasis on a gift over someone's photos of their child as a baby?
Although I was kind of expecting that to be the outcome of that "experiment," it still stings a little bit. Not as much as before, though, so I guess that's good. Although I'm little concerned about my dad now. He didn't really react when I told him about Mom. But his reaction to the letter being returned was like it didn't even register with him. He said, "Oh great! She must've moved and now we don't know where. So, how do we find her new address?"
For her 60th, I ended up buying some flowers at Publix with a small cake. They didn't have chocolate with buttercream, but the vanilla was nice. It went very well with the arrangement I put together at home. I attached a family photo from when I was 3 weeks old to the vase and set on our dining table. My husband has since refilled it with fresh flowers. The other night I heard my daughter asking who the baby was, and my husband was teaching it's a family picture of Mommy, Grandpa & Grandma. It was a very touching moment! Even though they're young and never had a chance to meet or even speak to her, they'll still who she was. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go that route, but God decided for me.
coeurenmorceaux
You know all about what's going on but I know nothing. I am assuming your biological mother has died? And her siblings (or relatives on her side) are ignoring you? My "natural" mother's entire family turned their back on me years ago and it was her doing, not mine; you have no responsibility for this, even though it is amazingly obnoxious on their part and hurtful to you. Men are different from women: baby photos might not be on your Dad's mind and that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or cherish memories of your life! Right now, he's focused on that Bible. Maybe it is a family Bible, but he has to focus on something and I have to say that it's a lot easier emotionally to worry about a Bible than to accept the apparent fact you will never have your daughter's baby pictures. I must say, I have questions regarding the deaths of both grandmothers, my beloved Aunt, my natural mother, AND my only child. Some questions have no answers. Whatever "affairs" of hers required taking care of, I think it best to let it go. As for the death certificate, it should have her address at her time of death and, if the letter has been returned (if sent to that address), unless you hire someone (at great expense) these are questions without answers. Expectations are relationship killers: let your Dad grieve in his own way, and you grieve in yours. Peace, little sister.
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