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Death & Dying
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Strange After-Christmas Blues

MamasChild1
MamasChild1
It used to be we'd be blue because of a let-down after Christmas. Today, I experienced the strangest thing. I began taking the tree decorations down - and suddenly burst into tears crying out for Mama hysterically. It lasted awhile. This didn't happen at the beginning of the season - one would think that putting up those old ornaments we'd once shared, etc., would have done it - but today, I lost it. It wasn't that Christmas was over but just a breakdown over Mama not being here.

And to top it all - I had planned on visiting my Dad's grave - just blocks away from me - during the Christmas season. I made a point of making the one-hour drive to Mama's grave weeks before Christmas - but realized TODAY - 2010 - that I'd forgotten to visit Dad. (????)
vader
vader
my name is vader and i am 62 years old and i want to say that I experience the same.Christmas is not was it was to me and i find it hard to celebrate.I celebrated Christmas by giving gifts to the people that were nice to me when I lost Brad.The Christmas decorations are still up and i am going to take down the santa claus after the feast of the wise man on January 6th.And on christmas...I started to cry for i miss Brad and when you miss someone you have the right to cry and noone will tell me any different.I am still in greiving and I will never forget Brad of the thinngs that he did this year.vader and the cats.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have to say I felt the same way as you did. I didn't cry as I was putting up the X-mas decorations, nor did I cry when my family was over opening presents. I cried a couple days after. I cried and cried and felt so empty. New Years was very somber for me too. I was letting go of 2009 which had become so difficult for me. My mother passed away in March 2009 and so now I am trying to regain my life without her. Everyone says it will get better, but when? I'm truly sorry for your loss.
MamasChild1
MamasChild1
Dear Vader and Nicole -
Same here Vader...I waited till Feast of Three Kings - to take down religious items - but everything in limbo. Wreath off the door - and on the floor, instead of stored away. My Nativities still up. It's an emotional thing. Can't make myself do anything.

Nicole, for you it's a "first holiday without" your loved one. I think it depends on their age and how they passed - unexpectedly or not. Ironically, for me the first was Mama gone but not what I'd expected - perhaps, because my Dad was hospitalized, and I went from cemetery to his hospital bed on that first Christmas. Now, as late as this morning - I'm an emotional wreck. I'm devastated not knowing where / if my Mama is safe.