Bereavement Support Group
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It's over two years since I lost my Mom, and since we lived here my whole life, you'd think there'd be a certain amount of ease - not having to go to another address to quickly go through / remove possessions, etc. Many of you have experienced this. But I'm learning that no matter how much time - the grief will cause mistakes.
A word of advice: If you can, don't do ANYTHING (i.e. give away or remove things that were your loved ones). You may THINK it's time or see no reason in keeping things but there is a SEVERE backlash during the aftermath of loss. My biggest mistake was trying early on to re-arrange / remove some items from drawers. I may have given away things I didn't realize the value of.
Depression keeps us from doing things normally. I know. I live in what was once an organized household (thanks to Mama). It's now "The House of Dust and Clutter". Don't let things get that bad. Try to do a LITTLE. With holidays coming - the realization is overwhelming that things won't get done in time to decorate - and it keeps you from going on. I just hung some curtains Mama made after washing them. They'd shrunk and were torn in places. That had never happened before when I washed them - and I'm wondering was it age or was I not remembering anymore how to do things.
I realize this is long but I URGE you all - not to make quick decisions in doing even the simplest things. Aside from basic housekeeping, leave possessions as is - think / re-think before you do anything. Once undone - the grief is worsened if we lose items connected with those we love and have lost.
A word of advice: If you can, don't do ANYTHING (i.e. give away or remove things that were your loved ones). You may THINK it's time or see no reason in keeping things but there is a SEVERE backlash during the aftermath of loss. My biggest mistake was trying early on to re-arrange / remove some items from drawers. I may have given away things I didn't realize the value of.
Depression keeps us from doing things normally. I know. I live in what was once an organized household (thanks to Mama). It's now "The House of Dust and Clutter". Don't let things get that bad. Try to do a LITTLE. With holidays coming - the realization is overwhelming that things won't get done in time to decorate - and it keeps you from going on. I just hung some curtains Mama made after washing them. They'd shrunk and were torn in places. That had never happened before when I washed them - and I'm wondering was it age or was I not remembering anymore how to do things.
I realize this is long but I URGE you all - not to make quick decisions in doing even the simplest things. Aside from basic housekeeping, leave possessions as is - think / re-think before you do anything. Once undone - the grief is worsened if we lose items connected with those we love and have lost.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I'm going to get her a Tiffany lamp for Christmas. I know she liked them. I mentioned to her because her birthday and Christmas was coming up. She didn't want me to spend the money. I'll do it now because she can't stop me. I do miss her so, even the hard times.
I adopted a second cat to keep my current one company. Working gradually with mixed results. She's moved into mom's room. My mom did not like cats but I figure she might understand. The only things I got rid of were the oxygen machine and canisters. They were on loan from the insurance/medical supply company.
I think I'll have to move eventaully but I can't bear the thought right now.
Don't feel bad about the curtains. Grief affects our concentration.
Thank you for sharing your advice and experience.
Still no arrests made. I want an arrest made. It's on my mind every day. I think about her, I try to think about the good memories, and I do sometimes. But still the thoughts of how she died are there too.
"Love many. Trust few. Learn to paddle your own canoe."
Good advice, Mama, but it's taking so long to learn.
Same here, Donna. I sleep in Mama's room with all her clothes still in the closet - and mine in the next room. I keep TELLING myself to move clothes for convenience - just can't. I even can't repair some chips on the hallway wall, which may have been made during her last stretcher trip home from hospital (or on her way out after her passing - I don't know). Donna, I have a ZILLION pieces of paper with Mama's handwriting - they make me cry when I come across them. Keeping track of bills, etc. Or her age beginning to creep up on her, she'd write, "Today is Monday". Then the next would be "Tuesday". She was forgetting. Who could part with that?
And, Sandy - YES - Mama's passing has made me aware of my mortality but filled with fear for "where is she now?" They've become part of Eternity - and it hurts my heart not knowing where she is - praying she be safe. I miss her so.