It was 4 years in August that I lost my brother and where I am now noone else really knows.They know that I had to go back to New York..but thats about all.Noone knows.I have lived in many neighborhoods since i arrived in seattle and I was living in the Ballard neighborhood of seattle when all of this happened.It was just so different then.But now I am in a wonderful neighborhood and it is great because I am in a house.I have got a yard and the cats love it.Tuffy goes out at least 6 times a day.Kramer goes out and chases the butterflies and little Tooey loves it.They are different cats.However,I have found out that some people today just do not think when they see you after several years.Some of them dont know what to do or say and when they do try to comfort you..it is like a bull in a china shop.They try.So did she.She did not know.I told Brad not to tell her.We were not that close.She would see me about every 3 months and then after that would not call me or respond to my calls..Then out of the blue leaves me several messages and I find this very disturbing.When I saw her,she was wasted as usual and this is what disturbing me.Why is she drinking at 11 o clock in the morning and what exactly can I do? I have got no professional training.I took 2 years of psy in college and the rest is mostly books that I read and I read a great deal of periodicals.She did not come over..Brad is a recovering alcoholic and if he saw her drunk..he would get mad..he has been sober for 3 months.She told me that Frank was probably better off.When she said this..I knew in my heart that she was a lunatic.How can Frank be better off? Frank really wanted to live.He was just so happy and wanted to see The Yankees win the World Series again.To say a person is better off dead is just a sample of ignorance..but why are all these people coming out of the woodwork? Brad and I want to know! In 2009..I will be62 and I am going to retire.It will give me more time to devote to Daily Strength and It will give me more time to do my readings.I am a tarot card reader and I do cold readings.But Frank was just so right..when you least expect it..people that you know will come out of the woodwork.And really..I am at a loss for words.Why not? Why didnt they come here when Frank died? Is it part of guilt on their part? All I can say is that actions speak louder then words and sometimes people can hurt you if not intentionally..But remember..noone sees my pain .It is in my heart,not my face and I did not cry today at all.It rained and i stayed in all day.To ask how a person died..is also none of noones business.I wasnt there when Frank died.I was in seattle in the apartment.Frank came home from the hospital that day.He was in the hospital 5 times since May.He told the nurse that he was tired and went to his bed,where my sainted Frank died.The nurse and doctor were there.They tried to revive him.But Frank was gone.And if I was there..there wouldnt have been anything that I could say or do..all I can say is that he was a good friend and brother and i will never see or hear his voice again and if i am a bit cranky..being told that he is better off is no way for someone who doesnt know the story to try to comfort me..but the next time that I do see her if it is even in the supermarket..I will simply go into the ladies room or better yet..I will leave and come back later.She has really irriated me and this as of today was the last time.