Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Something wrong with me

MisfitGrayson
MisfitGrayson

I lost my both my parents 11 days apart.  My dad had health problems, he may have overdosed with his medication that caused him to go to the hospital.  Meanwhile my mom was in hospice, she had terminal cancer and nearing the end of her life during the time where the ambulance took my dad.  Because it happened so many times with my dad, we were definitely worried but our focus was on our mom as well.  She went through chemo a few years ago and when the cancer came back she decided not to go through with it again due to the sickness it caused her.  I know it sounds wrong but I couldn't help but try to expect her to pass away at any time especially when during Christmas she was on her feet and within the span of weeks she was so weak, fragile, and seemed like she aged 10 years.  


She passed March 1st of this year.  My dad was in recovery and never knew about my mom passing, the doctor advised against telling him until after he fully recovered.  Somehow though I think he knew, he always would say he couldn't live without her but it was tough being there and seeing his body fail.  It was definitely unexpected, my sisters, my brother, my niece, and nephew were all devasted.  It was such a horrible time for everyone.  But till this day I still haven't cried, and I don't know why.  I know part of the reason was because I wanted to be strong for my family but even after all this time?  I miss them like crazy, but I don't know why I can't cry.  I just don't want my parents to ever worry.

arfie
arfie
I'll bet you dollars to wishes your father knew. After 39 years with my Hubby, I am pretty convinced I know from another hemisphere when the love of my life is rolling over in his sleep. Neither one us wants to be the first to go.

Why ask why on your grieving process? The tears will flow when you are ready to let them go. There is no *right* way to grieve.

Rocking you gently and crying with you. . . My son died two weeks ago at age 35. I can't seem to stop crying. I worry that letting go too far will worry the 3 orphans he left me with.
MisfitGrayson
MisfitGrayson
I can’t even begin to imagine the struggle, pain, and lost that you feel. I appreciate you sharing, sometimes it’s hard to be in a constant mindset that “I’m the only one feeling this way.” I understand everyone has dealt with or dealing with lost in some form or way. I know it happens to everyone it’s just so hard to get through. I’m glad to hear I’m not crazy or emotionless when I can’t cry about things I probably should be, I feel the lost for sure I just want to start this process already.
LoveSpringTime
LoveSpringTime
I did not cry when my father died. I cried while he was suffering at the hospital but when it was over I felt peace over me and I understood that he was gone and there was nothing anyone can do about it. He might be in a better place than the hospital bed. My family celebrated his life and not his death. If you are suppressing your emotions to show your family that you are strong, it might not be the best thing to do. If you feel like crying, you should grieve and cry by all means because keeping it inside is not healthy. And your family should see your vulnerable side that you are human, you love your parents, you miss them and that you are grieving. Then when grieving is over, your life can move on.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you MisfitGrayson….. I am so very sorry for your losses.... I cared for my folks their last few years and I didn't actually cry until years later

I think trying to keep it together during the illness caused terrible grief that I learned to live with by shutting down my emotions

A RL grief support group might help you to work through what you need to..... Another hug and a blessing.....xo
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