"Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving make your requests known to the Lord, and He will give you the peace that passes all understanding to guide your heart and mind in Jesus Christ." Phil. 4;6,7

If you will read this, believe it and pray it...you will soon come out from under this horribly hopeless dark cloud. I am trying to get out from under it as best as I can. Only with faith in God will I be able to do this. Please try this. I had to claim this verse years ago when I fought panic attacks...then a few months ago when my son died unexpectedly. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. God bless you dear friend as you come through this trial.....love and hugs to you....Dale, Brandon's Mom

I am so sorry, I did mean to also express my sympathy for your loss. I can not give much advice since I am only 7mos. into this grief but it hurts no matter how long...they say the intensity lessens and we can manage each moment better than we expected. I hope to find this out soon.

I understand your fear. I just lost the love of my life Sept 23. I am still incomplete denile! I have been enemployed for a year and my unemployment just ran out and I have overdrafted my acct, his ex wife has caused so much trouble there is so much more... but iundertsnad your feel of gllom and doom. I keep thinking this is Karma for me. Why would God send me the most perfect person for me to spend the rest of my life with then suddenly with no warning take him from me? I have fear that nothing will get better, but I also have hope.

Thank You Dale and Therese,

I open the Bible randomly everyday and one day I did come across that passage. Like Therese, I don't understand how God could give you Brandon, Therese Vince and my Stephen and take them away. Like Therese I wonder if it is Karma and what had I done that was so terrible to deserve this. I am praying and at first I thought there was hope but now I am not so sure. I fear everything. I will say the passage daily and refer to it often. I guess that is all I can do and maybe someday I can get some hope but I can't imagine the rest of my life without him as I am sure you both feel.

QP

I think feelings of doom that things can get worse, is a normal thing from grief, but you still may need some help from a doctor, with maybe an anti-depressant. I hope you will talk to your doctor. My father died in May, then my brother died in August and a few weeks later I got very ill with fibromyalgia and lupus. After they died, all I could think about is, am I next, or another family member? I was really scared about that. I am now taking anti-depressants and don't feel that doom feeling, even though I am fighting the symptoms from my diseases.

My grief is still very new and my thoughts to you are, that I understand completely about feeling there is more bad things to come. I believe you are experiencing depression, normal of course, but you should talk to your doctor about ways to help lift your spirits. Praying doesn't hurt either.

Wish you well soon.

It has been explained to me by clergy and others who have a better understanding of the Bible than myself, that God did not take our loved ones. It is not His will....death is not something He wants for us...Jesus came to conquer death. And He did. We must focus on the fact that as Believers in Christ, Heaven is for us because we live on...there is no death. I have to trust Him...I have to believe Him...our hope is in Him. I also randomly choose scriptures to read but that sometimes when a verse is taken out of its intended context, the meaning is misunderstood. I have been a Sunday School teacher, gone to many Bible studies in my life time and never has the Word been so confusing while in my grief. I had to understand His grace because of my son's death...all this time I had not fully understood it...not personally, anyway. I hope this helps you relate to all of this somehow. It is so very hard to accept my loss because I have always prayed that my children would be safe and then this happens.....I know that God did not TAKE my son....He HAS my son.....The book of Job gives insight to our suffering....God bless the reader....love ,Dale...Brandon's Mom

Good comments Dale. I struggled with my faith after the loss of my son Brian in 1998. One scripture I have on my son's headstone is Revelation 21v4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. I hold on to the promise of seeing him again, in a perfect place, in perfect peace.
I also know no matter how deeply I love my son God loves him better thanI ever could.
The fear and panic will ease. It is a normal response to a sudden loss. But you can get help if it gets too overwhelming, from your doctor.
Hang in there Honey, be good and genle with yourself and know that we are here for you.

I am sorry for the loss of your father and brother Dad's girl. I am thinking of going to the doctor but money is an issue right now. A friend gave me some xanax when this happened and it helped. It may be something I should be on forever. I am sorry paijeg also for the loss of your son Brian too. I am praying and at first it seemed like a miracle would come and although I haven't lost faith, I feel like I am just going through the motions.

Dale, I realized that I got Phil. 4:6-7 from the front of the Bible under in times of turmoil. I will also read Paijeg's passage. Right before my BF died I was having money problems and I told him I usually pray for you first but I am praying for me first till I get through this and I feel guilty about that but like you I always pray for my loved ones and even people on the street that look in need of a prayer.

I used to talk to my BF often about what happens when we die. I used to wonder why God could take a beautiful person or even a pet and destroy them in death. I would never ruin a work of art. I concluded that in death they go back to him and they are just lended to us on earth. I don't know if that is right but That could be why.

Brandon was lucky to have you as a Mom Dale but I am sure you feel yu were the lucky one. I was lucky to have my BF even though with his passing I am in financial distress and alone and feel this awful. I keep praying but still feel so hopeless when at first it gave me peace. To tell you the tryth, Job has always confused me. God gave him more blessings later but it insinuates that his first family is easily replace and soon forgotten. I know I am probably not getting it but this has always puzzled me. In any case I am praying and praying. I still feel nervous and upset but I am not losing faith. QP

I do know that a lot of the Bible is confusing and often easily misunderstood at times. I think perhaps it is meant to be that way...not to discourage but to have us seek out and find the treasures and blessings in His Word.

Job's faithful even in the midst of loss, grief, and constant trials is what I get from his whole story but not only his faithfulness but also God's faithfulness. I am sure Job was reunited with his family in Heaven.....Job's cries did not go unheard...and remember it was Satan having a field day, bringing on all the death and destruction...but he did not win...ultimately Job "won" through faithfulness and his love and the love of our Lord. I do not claim to be a theologian...hardly, I have a long way to go especially in the set back of my son's death...but I must admit that slowly I am finding out things I have had to SEEK out for my own peace of mind. Satan will not win here, either. I am in the hands of God and cannot be taken. Love to you dear friend....Dale. Brandon's Mom