Please don't give up. It sounds like you need some counselling to deal with everything. Can you talk to your doctor or maybe found a church to help you? The Salvation Army is always there for hurting people. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs

Don't think you should give up and start smoking weed,with you feeling depressed already it would make things worse for you in the long run,you may end up dependant on it and just eventually need it to feel normal and with side effects like paranoia and depression,you will end up in a terrible rut worse than where your at now.maybe you could seek professional help,counselling and maybe short term medacation to help with your depression and when you feel better/stronger you could deal with your adult sons and give them an ultamatim about getting their lives together before it passes them by.whatever you do don't give up,never give up,good luck and hugs xx

hi,just read some of your backround and i'm sorry for your loss and your diagnosis,read a little about it and i hope the doctors can find the right meds for you so you can lead a normal life again with this condition.as for your sons,it sounds like there turning to weed for comfort and to relieve their pain,losing their father when there still young must be so hard for them and for you but i still think you turning to weed would be really bad idea,especially with your health aswell.i don't know if your sons have always smoked weed,but maybe they also need some counselling to help deal with their fathers death.my husband lost his mother when he was 20 and he fell to pieces after it,he turned to prescription drugs and drink to deal with it.but eventually he got through it and stopped drinking and taking stuff and he got a job.it took him a long time to come to terms with his mothers death,2 years i'd say but its now 16 yrs since that happened and to this day he wishes he had went to beareavment councilling after she died,he thinks he may have dealth with it better then.please seek help,never suffer in silence and for you and your sons never give up,i'm sure your husband would have wanted you to go on and be happy,it's not going to be an easy road but i pray for you that you will find the strenght to go on,hugs xx

My heart goes out to you...you have so much going on...it is hard when our children let us down...

Ironic that when families need each the most they are the furthest apart. All of you are facing a terrible loss & have such deep emotional pain. Now is tough and with health challenges I imagine the future is really scary...if you cannot obtain professional help I suggest that you find a friend to talk to daily...make a connection...plug into some support...

Well, I figured I would read allot of stupid negativity about weed when you ask this question from people on here. Really, as for me I have never smoked much of it except a few boyfriends from the past would bring some over,but that has been years ago. Certain strains of it have good medicinal qualities for pain and for depression as well, so why do you think they are trying to legalize it people? As for Meds from these shrinks for depression, I have been around the block and then some with that crap. the only results I got was sleeping constantly and feeling like a zombie and couldn't function at all,so I just have a Therapist now to talk to. those drugs just don't work for everyone. I'm not saying for you to become a Pothead ,or anything like that, but maybe your sons are smoking it because it helps them to deal with things better and after all, it is a natural herb from the earth, theses meds are not. Maybe if you would just smoke some once and a while it wouldn't hurt you any and maybe relax you some and you could deal with things better. I would give anything if I could try some of it for this horrible pain I'm going through right now instead of taking these awful Oxycodones which are doing nothing for me,but making me dependent on them and they are not good for your body at all. If I was you, I would find a good therapist to talk to,but be careful about the antidepressant Meds because most of the time I have found they have made my depression worse. Good luck and hope things get better for you soon.

Weed, alcohol...it's a temporary fix. I prefer exercise. The problem is exercise makes me more aware, more motivated, and then I'd get so angry looking at those two dead-beat slug-head adult sons that I'd kick them to the curb, which is probably what you should do anyway.

There is no short term fix for grief - you have to live through it, there is no skirting round it. Addictive substances will just give you an added burden. Here is the thing - both alcohol and drugs make you feel good for the first time only, then you are continually trying to find that again, taking more and more all the time, and you never do find it again. That is how and why you become hooked. Do not harm your chance to heal naturally (Yes, it does get bearable). Some grief counselling for you and your sons. Death is an experience we all have to face in our lives, and giving up was never an option.