My most recent loss is November 2017.  I lost an extremely dear friend who was my second mom.  It was unexpected. She was my best friend, my "go to" person, a mom....I know the "world" may feel that I am doing "okay" because i am putting one foot in the other,  I go to work and get through each day. I can do the motions of the day. I am a teacher.  The kids continue to learn. Life goes on. The reality is sadness hurts...the world does not see when I cry in the car going to work, or in the evenings at home or on the weekends when it is just so incredibly painful and no one to talk to that gets it. When everything you see or hear strikes a memory. 

My first loss was at 14 years old.  I lost my sister, then 6 years later my brother.  I have also a dear mentor, my dad and my mom.  I have been to grief counseling.  My most recent loss is one that is so very difficult because we met because she was my grief counselor we became family. Now, how do you find help to help you grieve the one person who helped you through all the rest of your losses?  

I felt writing here would be helpful.  Writing has always seemed to help in the past. I know grieving is a process and I am struggling within the process.