It is normal. I go through the same thing. I usually find a few hours where I am fine, and I enjoy the things I used to love, and then a few hours later I am crying over little things. You are not alone at all. I also had a day where I went to the store, and I don't remember what I was getting, but I do remember I was getting it on my way to work because it was going to be a snack, they were completely out of it and I couldn't find anything else I would want. I stood there crying, and got weird looks from people. I feel like maybe it is because we are grieving, and our brain just latches on to things that should maybe annoy us, and takes it to the extreme. *HUGS*

Message me if you want to talk.

I also find that for me it is directly linked to hormonal levels. I have started taking Evening Primrose Oil and then the lows are not so hard to get out of and the violence of the swings is definitely less severe. But each to his own.

That said it is still a pot luck affair as to what the day will bring. I have had to learn to let it be. Not to assume that the rest of the day will be anything like the now. Rejoice in the now. Let the emotion come as it will, feel it, identify it for what it is, recognize why (the trigger) and just accept it. It is mine and that's all there is to it. Because the control freak side of me couldn't handle the savagely random emotional rollercoaster. It is the hardest though, when you've been having a good while (more often than not it's simply forgetting to remember) and then it hits you all over again, it seems so much harder to grasp and then I'm wailing like a madwoman again. But in a way I always feel better for the tears. It's the fact that it comes when it wants to that is the hardest. Nothing prepares you for that.

Thinking of you. Hang in there. You're not alone. And you're not losing your mind. Having a good day :)

I hear you and definitely get the feels. I was just saying to a friend last night that 3 days of bereavement leave is a cruel joke - the old Orthodox Jewish custom of a month of grieving time is probably closer to the mark.

I too find myself in tears over seemingly small things. I also have absolute internal RAGE over ppl doing stupid stuff (bad drivers, strangers who make inappropriate comments) and wish I could live in a cave somewhere FAR from ppl.

Thank you everyone. It is comforting to know that I am not alone, and that these emotional swings are part of the process. I too have been experiencing rage over the smallest of things. My friends and co-workers just don't get it. Like the old saying goes, they "really don't understand unless they are going through it too". It's frustrating too because my brain knows when I'm in those deep anger/rage states, but I can't just snap my fingers and pop out of it. In fact I just get angrier for being so angry and irrational.

You're not alone and there is not one thing "wrong" with you. Grief is a dreadful experience and yes, it is a roller coaster. Anything (small thing, even) can set you off. Do you have a grief counselor? This might help you enormously and also your husband, who might be invited in for a session or two so he does not worry about you. As for the rest of the world, do they understand? Not unless they have walked in your shoes. Don't judge yourself by the standards of others and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Thank you Coeur. I think it might be time to consider a grief counselor. Other than this site, I don't feel like I have a safe place to vent my feelings and emotions. My co-workers look at me like I'm a freak show, and don't know how to help, so I find it hard to share anything with them. My husband just wants me "back to normal", so I feel pressure to put on a happy face when I get home. I feel like I'm suffocating and I don't know how to change that. Is there such a thing as "free" grief counseling, or would I have to check with my doctor/health insurance?

Grason, I loved your post because I related to every word you just said. I feel like my life is a pendulum, swinging from finding a little bit of peace and fun in the day to flat out rage, depression, sadness and heartache.

The smallest things definitely set me off, I used to be a steal trap of patience. Now, the smallest things get to me. The person I lost was the one and only person I went to to vent, get things off my chest, who knew me the best, so without that I feel lost and angry and isolated. I love watching Tiny House Nation and sometimes I think I'd like to buy a tiny house in the mountains and just live like a caveman or something, just be alone because I'm ultimately alone anyway.

I can totally see you crying over that pie. My sister died before the holidays. I wasn't thinking about Christmas, but my mom wanted it so bad, so on freaking Christmas Eve I finally broke down and bought her two things she wanted.

Do you know the DVD box set I got she already had and the DVD player I bought her didn't work. I wanted to just take a machine gun and lean on the trigger. I was enraged and sad. Had my sister been here I would have complained and laughed about it, but this was an earthquake sized devastation to me.

I hear you on the job situation too. If you know your office is the type to start passing around this workers work before she leaves, I don't blame you for being mad. Some places don't even replace the worker that leaves, they just spread the work out.

We are always in an emotional state of our own personal grief. No one knows our internal struggles so they don't get it, life goes on for them. I hate this "bereavement time" too because some jobs are very strict and want you back and running after that crappy little 3 days. That barely makes a dent because those first days are spent making arrangements. By the time you finish that your days are up even before the funeral!

Why can't we get 2 weeks equal to vacation time at the least? 3 days to mourn the lost of your loved one and get back to work? Thanks.