Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

3,877 Members
13,418 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Not going well but hiding it from others...

Lolita_Lynn
Lolita_Lynn

I lost my mom to cancer in 2008 and it took such a long time to get to a place where I can think about her and not cry. Like remembering the happy times we had together. Unfortunately, my dad passed away Jan 8 2017 suddenly. He wasn't sick but feeling unwell so he went into the hospital and died from complications with penumonia. He was in St. Louis and I was in Virginia so I didn't even get a chance to see him before he passed. I had my sister put us on speaker phone just hours before he passed so we could tell him how much we loved him. I thought I was handling it okay and jumped right back into my routien after all the ceremonies were done. But I feel like I'm breaking inside. I'm coming to the realization that I don't have my mom or dad anymore. My mom was only in her 50s and my dad was 63. He would call me late at night just to talk about how he used to change my diaper and I would have to remind him that I currently do not wear a diaper. My mom was my best friend and I was also a daddy's girl. I miss them so much and the pain of losing my mom just triples when I think of not being able to see my dad too. I go home everyday and cry in the shower so no one can hear me. I don't think I'll ever come to terms with this.

4jesus
4jesus
I am so sorry for your losses. I may not have too many words of wisdom right now as I am still grieving the loss of my mom (12/31/16). But you need a support system-family, friends, pastor or even a stranger can offer support. I've been told to think of all the good memories. And the fact that you spoke with him and told him you love him hours before he passed (although upsetting) is a good memory to cherish. I wish I had that moment with my mom. In the 2 weeks prior to her death, I only spoke with her 2 times and saw her on Christmas Eve. I knew she wasn't feeling well. I had a strong feeling something was going to happen. So had her say the sinners prayer and annointed her with oil. I led her back to the Lord. I should be happy and have comfort that I was able to do that, but I can't feel that right now because her death was sudden as well. Anyway, I guess I am trying to say that you are starting the grieving process over again and you aren't just going to "come to terms" with it quickly. Let yourself grieve.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I am so sorry for your losses Lynn..... I have lost my birth family to ... It's been a few years now and it's still hard to believe at times.
I think what we do eventually is accept it and move on albeit things are sure different without our folks.... Eventually over time the good things do come back however I don't think we ever stop missing those who we've loved so dearly
Big hug for you and a blessing
Big hug for you as well 4jesus......xo
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
I think that it is important to work things out; if we do not then you are right, we end up pretending to be happy because that is what we think others want. Then at some point it becomes what they expect and we end up living a lie just to keep others happy.

I strongly suggest therapy. I took a group bereavement class at the local hospital. It worked wonders. This group has also been a big help. But if it has been 8 plus years since your mom died and your loss has been re-opened upon your dad's passing, my guess is that there are still some things that you need to work out.
tickclicker
tickclicker
we are social creatures reach out in any way you can friends, family anyone who will listen even if they only listen for half the story. talkin about loss helps us get over it... right, seems to help every now and then. I'm still not over my own loss, good thing this is here. talk it out : )
Lolita_Lynn
Lolita_Lynn
Thank you everyone for your support. I think I will look into a therapy group that can help me. I just want to be happy again.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Community LeaderSunCloudJD

    Hello Monday

    Posted by: SunCloudJD
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    4
    Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
  • Sunshinegirl0228

    Dr. Appointment

    Posted by: Sunshinegirl0228
    Last Reply: Sunshinegirl0228
    3
    Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.