Hi- I lost my mom just over 3 years ago- she got a UTI and with her immune system drained from chemo she couldn't fight it. I was 33 when she died. It felt like loosing both parents, I don't have a relationship with my father. My initial reaction was like yours- I pushed it all aside, I was in school, I had so many other things on my plate that needed my attention that time to grieve was just non-existent and my support network felt so small/ non-existent. None of my friends had lost parents yet, they just had no idea how to support me. I was completely drained physically, emotionally, psychologically- I didn't know what to do with what I felt. I saw a therapist, it helped a little but in truth- not much. It took time but I eventually learned to listen to my body, my emotions etc. some days I needed to not go to school and just sit on the couch and watch TV. Some days, I needed to talk to a friend. Some days I needed to write until my fingers felt like they were going to fall off, or draw or some other hobby. But, I'd say with complete honesty I didn't really grieve her until this year when my life finally calmed down and settled and I had time to really feel, some good friends to talk to etc. Also, finding small ways to honor her memory was really helpful to me- I had tucked in a stuffed rabbit with her when she died- whenever I have done something significant, stuffed rabbit comes with me (stuffed rabbit attended my wedding for example and walked down the aisle in my brother's jacket pocket) I watch her favorite movie on the anniversary of her death every year, I make her traditional foods on major holidays now- little things that keep her memory alive. Sharing stories about her with my husband, talking about her with my friends and siblings- it took time for me to be able to without crying but, now, it helps so much to share those special memories and times I spent with her- she was an amazing, powerhouse of a woman. I hope some of this is helpful to you. Most importantly, be gentile with yourself! I wasn't, and it was really difficult for me to realize that I was pushing myself WAY too hard. I am so sorry for your loss *hugs*

We’re here for you. <3 My mom passed away six years ago and although I still miss her every day it does get easier. Don’t lose hope! I went to griefshare. It’s offered nationwide but if you don’t have on in your area there are videos online you can watch. It gave me the tools I needed to start the healing process and it helped me to hear other people stories who were going through the same emotions I was.. I no longer felt so alone. I’m glad you’re reaching out. Big hug from someone who understands.

Big hug for you Sam..... I am so very sorry for your loss

My mom and I were very close and it was a very painful loss for me and you're still so young

I would try and find a RL support group..... It can be a good place to share and vent and have others to lean on

I found gratitude a really helpful tool..... and I still do to this day

I agree that as time goes on it does become less painful and we're able to celebrate the life of our loved one instead of just grieve their passing however that takes time

Gentle hug and a blessing.....xo