It is good when you reach out for help. I have progressed from the physical pain to a feeling of loss, especially during special holidays and birthdays. My mom has been gone for almost three years. However, last Christmas we had the carols on the stereo when Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas brought on unexpected tears. The song remains one of my favorites, although I am hesitant to hear ot again. Having someone just to listen with understanding can be a great help.

I believe the loss of a mother is very traumatic. Mother and child develop a relationship and bond during the pregnancy, making this relationship the strongest of all, no matter how much others love us, nothing is like a mother's love. I do wonder what brings you to feel guilt on those long Sunday evenings. It may help to talk about those types of feelings. My mom became very mad at me just before her death. She wanted to go back to her apartment after she had been in hospital for two months. She did not like me telling her the doctor would be incompetent if he released her without rehabillitation. I am thankful she and I patched things up before she died. We are all here to help each other move forward. How can I help you?

Thanks, you have helped with your input, I very much appreciate it. I guess I feel guilt because we expected more time, just a few weeks more with her. I withheld talking about things because we found ourselves amidst a different crisis, and just like that she was gone. We were all with her, but she was drugged had lost the ability to speak. I just feel like if I would have been able to think properly it would have been more organised.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have had two recent losses myself. My mother passed in December and now my son who was 27 passed. I was devastated at my son's death. When people go unexpectedly it leaves us with so many emotions to deal with on top of bereavement.
Journaling here has really helped. The communication that bonds people together is immediately cut off making one feel lost. Writing those feelings down gives you validation. Imagine speaking to your mother in this manner. I believe that our loved one's spirits are with us and they know what is in our hearts. I pray for peace and strength for you in this difficult time. HUGS

I think some losses hit us in such a way that we are unprepared for the magnitude of grief that we feel. Recently my husband died suddenly, 40+ yrs.together, such a strong man, gone in a few hours.It's hard, thank God I have a strong faith & a good family. I know he's okay, I've gotten some signs from him that leave me no doubt. I have my moments of sadness but I work hard to move on. God has me here for a purpose. You are blessed to have had such a wonderful mom, it's understandable you're having a difficult time. As long as you continue to love her each day, she's with you. Take care.

Thank you vck and mrs. for the encouragement and sharing your stories. It helps to know, even though our journeys are our own, that there you are there along side with encouraging words while also on your journey. Appreciate it.

im so sorry about your loss, first off.

Good for you to realize you cant handle this alone.. its soo true,,whether on supports blogs or in person, to grieve alone is doubly hard and an unfair burden to yourself

The guilt part, I can relate to, also. As you say, shame on me for not noticing.. and yet, being the great moms they were, they carried on..i hop you can find the peace within to release t guilt inside.

For me, I was like why cant I be this great big pillar of strength, like she ? But i realized, I lost MY mother, my best friend, my lifeline..and I can grieve her because Im her child, so loved and cherished, and now what??

Its been 7 years, and time heals the sharpness of the pain to a dull pain that is intermittant at best..

It IS overwhelming....when my mom passed, my entire family, including my father, were all so devastated. Now there are alot of us, and to see everyone as devastated as I was mind blowing and made me feel like my footing was unsure. They too, had grief etched all over their person, and whereas I could always look within my own family for support, they were at an utter loss as well as myself.

You cant get that time back and I can only feel like this is some part of a greater plan, in the scheme of life itself. We arent meant to be perfect, and I still hold bits of guilt regarding the loss of my mom, as well as my 2 brothers and my little dog of 15 years.. there WERE thing i COULD have done different, but maybe they didnt happen for a reason.. for what ? I still dont know, but I know, as much as my mom and brothers loved me, they would fix this hurt and say its ok, I did my best and thats good enough for them.. go be happy.. Im crying a little now, cuz it can still be so sharp, but I tell myself over and over again... theres so much love there and thats the part that never dies , only grows as time goes by. Please reach out to those with whom you said youve been good at supporting.. let them help you carry your load.. blessings !!