Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
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My sister

LAURAAAAA
LAURAAAAA
My sister and i lost our mom July 6th. she turned 17 the day before her funeral and had been living with her at the time. I feel so awful thinking about that.. I haven't lived with my mom for two years now since i joined the army.. i guess i was kind of distant. It was rough growing up because she was bipolar, i loved my mom more than anything and i wouldn't change a thing but I just hurt so much for my sister. she was so much closer to our mom than i was, they identified with each other in a way i never understood. She is living with our dad now and he is not an easy person to get along with. my sister has high functioning autism and she is grieving and he doesn't know how to be there for her and i cant be because i'm stationed half the country away from my family. They had a huge fight tonight... over something stupid that shouldnt have even mattered. But my dad even though he loves us both so much can be harsh and mean without noticing what he is doing. She called me in tears and told me that she doesnt know what to do and she doesnt want to live anymore. It broke my heart. losing my mom was devastating but if i lost my sister too it would break me. And i just want to pour out love onto both my dad and my sister. we all have been stretched so thin since my moms death. My dad has to learn how to be a full time parent. My sister has to somehow finish high school with all of this on her heart and i'm so far away from all of it. I'm consumed with grief and on top of that i feel helpless because i cant comfort the people who mean the most to me. Family is more important now than ever and i'm so scared for them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, I'm so sorry about your Mom. I understand how you feel about your sister. I had a younger sister that I was very close to & I was very protective of her and would have done anything for her. She lived in Maryland & I live in NJ. She died recently, which is why I came on this site. Anyway, I just wanted to suggest that you get your sister into counseling/therapy, if she is not already doing that, as soon as possible. Even though you are far away, I'm sure she knows how much her big sister loves her :) Hope that gives you some comfort.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So sorry that your going through all of this. PurpleRose has given you the best advice possible but I would like to add to it - not only your sister should go but your father also should go because now he has a big part in your sisters life and needs to learn how to be there for her and listen to her, someone she can lean on. My prayers are with you. tc xo
deleted_user
deleted_user
So terrible sorry for you loss and pain. PurpleRose is right and has the advice I would give. I also emphasize getting your sister help right away.
My thoughts and prayers are with you
deleted_user
deleted_user
Since you're old enough to serve our country (and God protect you and bless you as you do it), you're old enough to have an adult conversation with your father. If there are other family members, aunts for instance, who are stable and willing, perhaps they can participate in the care of your sister who appears to be at risk. Call social services where your Dad and sister live and ask for assistance. A CASA worker can be assigned to monitor the household, if necessary (although I believe this requires a family court order). Your sister, not only because of her autism but because of your Dad's anger and frustration and fear, needs an outside source to monitor this situation. I don't know what service you're in but you might go to the Chaplin and ask for some advice and direction. God bless you.
Mgould
Mgould
I would call the school social worker also to let them know of your concerns. In addition to social work services there may be group counseling at the school for students who are grieving.
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