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I had a date the other night and I dont know what to do.He is a very nice person but he has got a teenage son.His wife dyed in childbirth and he choose to raise his son alone and now I am wonderfing if he is the right choice.His son is 14 years old and he is at that age.He is already having problems in school and he doesnt like to go.The other day I went shopping and I went down town seattle.They have Barnes and Noble there and i saw him with a group of teens in the store.He recognized me and came over with these people.He introduced me to all of his friends.He told me that school was boring and he wanted to join The Navy.His friends told me that Jeff may try to be a good father..he is hardly there.One weekend he worked 70 hours and he had to work sunday.This kid also told me that he was bored in school and wanted excitment and he told me of this new computer game and he even told me how much it was! His friends looked so out of place.And I realized that teens today have problems.They are not
the problems that I had but they are bigger and who will be around in two years when he decided to quit school.This boy told me how unhappy he was and his father just wont listen.He wants to play in the orchestra and he asked what I thought of it.The orchestra of a band is hard work and you have to practice a lot.You also have to learn to read music and like music.He likes music.He was holding 3 cds and I was surprized.One of the cds was Frank Sinatra.....and for 14 years of age...this is surprizing.He also had a cd of Gospel.The other was Nirvana......I asked him if he had the money for these cds and he told me that he saved his money and then he brought the cds.This boy after he paid for his cds told me this.There is a bully in the school and he and the other kids dont want to go anymore.He told me that he has been cutting just to avoid not fighting.The other kids told me the same thing and one of them a girl started to cry.Here I am at 62 years old,,listening to a teenagers problems.But who do I talk to?
Jeff is just so involved with work...his kid is having problems and I dont know what to do.I like Jeff but this relationship is a problem.Now the other day he took us to Burger King....there is a game and Jeff wants to play it..After I paid for the meal and while I was eating my whopper,Jeff whispered in my ear...."DO you have 20.00?" "I need 20.00.Vader,I dont have enough money for the rest of it." I didnt have the 20.00 but then I began to realize that Jeffs problems is Jeff.Should I give him the 20.00? And this boy is having problems and I am so overwhelmed by his story about the bullies that I ended the relationship..but this kid is making an impression on me.What shall i do?
the problems that I had but they are bigger and who will be around in two years when he decided to quit school.This boy told me how unhappy he was and his father just wont listen.He wants to play in the orchestra and he asked what I thought of it.The orchestra of a band is hard work and you have to practice a lot.You also have to learn to read music and like music.He likes music.He was holding 3 cds and I was surprized.One of the cds was Frank Sinatra.....and for 14 years of age...this is surprizing.He also had a cd of Gospel.The other was Nirvana......I asked him if he had the money for these cds and he told me that he saved his money and then he brought the cds.This boy after he paid for his cds told me this.There is a bully in the school and he and the other kids dont want to go anymore.He told me that he has been cutting just to avoid not fighting.The other kids told me the same thing and one of them a girl started to cry.Here I am at 62 years old,,listening to a teenagers problems.But who do I talk to?
Jeff is just so involved with work...his kid is having problems and I dont know what to do.I like Jeff but this relationship is a problem.Now the other day he took us to Burger King....there is a game and Jeff wants to play it..After I paid for the meal and while I was eating my whopper,Jeff whispered in my ear...."DO you have 20.00?" "I need 20.00.Vader,I dont have enough money for the rest of it." I didnt have the 20.00 but then I began to realize that Jeffs problems is Jeff.Should I give him the 20.00? And this boy is having problems and I am so overwhelmed by his story about the bullies that I ended the relationship..but this kid is making an impression on me.What shall i do?
His son sounds like a great kid who needs someone older to talk with. You can be that person for him. It sounds as if he was able to relate to you and that is where you can best share yourself, by being there for him and listening to him....and maybe educating him musically. Share your love of jazz with him. Use the talent of your voice.
Like Critter Said, if he's a grown man, whos working, what is he spending his money on? In a first date, you are on your best behavior, and manners. Who brings their teenage kid on a first date? How difficult is that for a kid, to have to go on dates with his dad and spend his childhood getting to know all these different women? If he acts like this on his first date... what is he really like?
NO . Dont give him money. You need to be in positive , healthy relationships.. and this is NOT one of them.
You just lost your husband.. you arent ready to start a new relationship with and be a stepmom, to a child.
All teenagers go through what he is talking about. I went through a lot of the same problems, and listened to some of the same music. The problem is , this kid really needs a PARENT, not a friend. He needs somene who is a bit wiser, and can see the big picture, and force him to go to school, and not give him the "choice". He is 14. If he is really curious about joining the Navy, he should stay in school, and work hard. Join JROTC, and learn the concepts of the military-- respect, honor, loyalty and hard work. and look into it when he is old enough to join - 17.
I think he may need someone to talk to , and open the lines of communication between him and his father, perhaps a liscenced counselor. I understand your compassion for this boy, but it is yet more proof that his father is not the kind of man you want to be involved with.
You also have to consider , that this boy probably goes through this kind of thing every week. Seeing his dad , date all kinds of women, and he doesnt want anyone to take his mothers place. Trashing his dad, is just a reflex. True or not. Its his way of scaring off the women in his fathers life.
I think we all had issues at that age, but its part of getting to know yourself and find who you are.
all stressed out like I have been and i realized that Jeff was a mistake.He works a lot of hours but doesnt manage money well.I have known him for quite some time but he is always broke.I think he better cut off the work load and try to communicate with his son.Boy that kid is so unhappy! The unhappy teens that I met on that day made me so realize that everyone has got problems.But now I have got food and so
have my cats and i do feel a bit better.I worked from 65th to 103th street
today as i saw The Greenwood Car Show.It was the largest car show
that ever saw.They had 6,000 and they had a 1965 ford thunderbird.
that was my late brothers first car.They also had a 1955 Nash which
was my parents first car.It was a good car until it broke down on the highway in staten island and we had to take a cab home.The cats to
today just brought back memories.But the highlight of the day was the bank Nowhere Men.Nowhere Men have been around in seattle for 20 years.All they did was a tribute to The Beatles.Since I saw The Beatles at Shea Stadium in 1965 I was singing along with the crowd.Then i celbrated and i had a Hebrew National hot dog and it was so good.This was the first outing that I have been to and I am so tired but it did me good.The cats are asleep now and Kramer doesnt feel weell.It has been very very cold and wet here.One day I had the door opedbecause the ac wouldnt work and the cats had a picnic! They were in the yard for one hour and they were playing.Now Kramer is sneexing and i am a bit worried.I dont let my cats go outside.I am still going to pay the rent no matter what I have and i will let everyone know
the outcome of it..These are really tough times.ANd my friend John
and a few of his friends is out of work also.I ahve tried to get a job but it is so hard out there and i am not relocating back to New York cause i cant afford it.I ahve got nowhere to go and noone has offered.