Your mom wouldn't want you to stop living your life because of her absence. She'd want you to continue living, being happy, and making her proud.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. The only thing that will make you feel better is knowing that you're not the only person that is doing that. I sat in my dad's chair with his coat on for three hours waiting for him to come home. I knew in my head it was crazy, and I felt insane because I knew he was never going back... But sometimes I just feel like maybe everybody is playing a joke on me..... Just know if you ever need somebody I am here for you.

Hi lewisprincess32, I'm really sorry for your loss. It's so raw right now, of course you feel you shouldn't be happy. Trust me, once the initial fog is lifted, you'll know your mom would want you to be happy in life.

When I lost my mom, 3 months back, I said the exact same thing to my therapist. I told her I shouldn't smile or be happy since my mom isn't here to see anything. She told me this feeling goes away with time. I didn't believe her at the time and I know it'll be hard for you to believe too, but I promise it gets easier with time.

3 months down, I can't say the pain is less, it will never be, When I see my friends out and about with their moms, it doesn't help. I was extremely close to my mom, used to stay with her, so adjusting to a daily routine without her has been one of my biggest challenges.

I like to think it the other way round. I like to imagine what would I have wanted for my mom, if I died before her. And I found myself wanting the world for her. I'd want her to be happy and enjoy her life, as much as she could. So, it's the same for our moms too, only much more. Nothing would give them more peace than to see us happy.

Take care sweetheart...

Lewis:

I don't think your mom would want you to keep dwelling on her passing--she would want you to continue with your life, and live it to the fullest-I myself have just lost my last living grandparent-(grandmother on my dad's side.) and in my heart, I know she wouldn't want me to be depressed and dwelling-(but I know ot's not easy!!)

Hey sweety,I went to the cemetery everyday for months(nearly a year) to feel close to my mamma! you do what you have to feel close to her, for me, before, it was going outthere to see her, but nnow when i pray or sit outside, i can feel her around me. I promise, it will get easier to comprehend that the one person in this world that truely had your back and your heart in thier hands is "physically" gone, soon after the initial shock!!!OMG!! yOU WILL BE OKAY...Im positive of it,chic!

Thank you all for the comments. I really needed them. I am starting to have a lot of anger coming out and I don't know who I am becoming. I see myself changing everyday. I just want my life back. I don't want my partner to be the one that gets the bad end of this. I want to be happy but I feel like I shouldn't be. I do need friends who can help me with this. Holla back.

I am sorry for your loss. 2 weeks is a short time. It has been 2 & 1/2 years for me and I miss her every day! There is so much advice out there. I went to grief groups and a therapist. Their presence will always be with us and in our house. We will never be the same people again! Now, I don't cry in the car or the grocery store, like I used to. I still look for her.... The closer you are - the harder it is. Try to go to a grief group in your area and get some handouts, it helps. I hope this helps you. When, you are ready, go through her things slowly. I thre my Mom's teeth and hairbrush and cups away as they were painful. But, later on you want them! I hope this helps. (HUGS) Kristine

P.S. I have still have the anger also! Mom and I were very close............

God gives us many lovely gifts
As we wander through life's way -
If we but open eyes to see
The beauty of each day:
The sunrise flushing mountain peaks -
The blushing crimson rose.
The diamond clustered spider's web,
The stream that silver flows:
The golden leaves that Autumn brings,
The rainbowed pearl of dew -
But lovlier yet, the gift I have....
A mom as dear as you!
JRH