I lost my Mom November 22, 2015. The worst day of my life. The [ast two days i have been having some memeories of her last moments in the hospital... its been really getting to me. I didnt get to talk to her, we all thought she would be okay. The doctors didnt even know what was going on and they made it seems like she would pull through. My uncle, her brother, was killed 3 months later, and a family friend died the same month to Pnemonia like my mom. I felt like my entire world crashed. I have lost ALLL of my friends because my grief became overwheming, (and people are selffish and only care about themselves and drama) my sister and i did not become closer during this we drifted even more because she didnt need me. I have been dealing with all of this alone. I Quit my job because i couldnt take it anymore ( and Disneyland isnt as happy as yall think) and with that went my medical insurance. I KNOW i need to see someone but my resources are limited. It is so frustrating for me because i was always there for so many people and they abandoned me. i quit drinking and started clean eating and have lost 30 lbs so far. It is the one and only way i can take back control of my life and ive been doing pretty damn good. Its okay though because the worst times reveal the people who care. Im just ranting to get this off of my chest. I feel trapped some days, PISSED off that i was robbed of my mom, then other days i feel so strong... its such a messed up process but im hoping ill find the help i need and lost this weight and gain some confidence to show the world i survived