Bereavement Support Group
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Hi everyone-this is the first time I've posted in this group, although I post on many of the others.
My Dad passed away Dec. 13, 1993-today is the anniversary of his passing. For some reason, I am missing him terribly. For quite a while, I thought I was dealing with his passing well. My Mom passed away 2 years later. My sister passed May of 2009.
But right now, I am feeling like an orphan, even though I'm 61. It seem that I am grieving all over again, starting with my Dad. He was great, and I loved him and my Mom and sister so much. Yesterday, when I realized that the anniversary of Dad's passing was today, it hit me harder than it has for many years. And I don't know why.
Do you think it could be because my life is a mess-at least to me it is. But there are so many people whose lives are so much worse. I lost my job in May, 2008, and have not been able to find one in all this time. My unemployment benefits ran out in May of this year, so I have absolutely no income. In May of 2009, (must be something about May) I fell in my basement and hit my head and now have a mTBI and all its problems. This was at the time my sister passed away-I really don't think I've really grieved her yet.
I also have an autoimmune disease, fibro. DDD, lymphedema from a mastectomy. I have applied for SSD and SSI, as well as all the programs Social Services offers-don't know how many I'll be approved for. All of my bills are in collection, and the bank has threatened to take my house because I couldn't pay on my home equity line of credit for the last 2 months. I also haven't paid my property taxes for the last 2 years, so the town has also threatened to take my house.
Normally, I would be on the phone with my parents or my sister because they were so good at dealing with things like this. Now, although my friends and sister and brothers are supportive, they don't have any answers for me. Everyone is having their own problems in this economy anyway.
Both my kids are grown-one in Spain, and one in Washington DC. My daughter in DC tries to send me money if she can-she's a grad student, so really doesn't have much. My son in Spain keeps telling me he can't afford to send me anything-I feel really hurt by that, but I don't really know his situation because he is not in contact with me very much.
I guess I am just missing having my parents and sister there when I pick up the phone to call them. There is no one who can give me any advice. And my Dad was so smart-he was a patent attorney, but knew how to solve any problem. Right now, I just want to call him and ask him what do I do now. But knowing that I cant do that is really making me sad-I'm crying while I writing this, and I haven't cried over him and my Mom and sister for such a long.
I guess you never really get over the loss of someone close. I never really thought I'd be feeling so down like this-I thought I was over this deep sadness many years ago, but I guess not.
I'm sorry this post got so long-I hope I didn't bore you. But thank God there is a place I can come where the people know what I am dealing with. God Bless. Kathy
My Dad passed away Dec. 13, 1993-today is the anniversary of his passing. For some reason, I am missing him terribly. For quite a while, I thought I was dealing with his passing well. My Mom passed away 2 years later. My sister passed May of 2009.
But right now, I am feeling like an orphan, even though I'm 61. It seem that I am grieving all over again, starting with my Dad. He was great, and I loved him and my Mom and sister so much. Yesterday, when I realized that the anniversary of Dad's passing was today, it hit me harder than it has for many years. And I don't know why.
Do you think it could be because my life is a mess-at least to me it is. But there are so many people whose lives are so much worse. I lost my job in May, 2008, and have not been able to find one in all this time. My unemployment benefits ran out in May of this year, so I have absolutely no income. In May of 2009, (must be something about May) I fell in my basement and hit my head and now have a mTBI and all its problems. This was at the time my sister passed away-I really don't think I've really grieved her yet.
I also have an autoimmune disease, fibro. DDD, lymphedema from a mastectomy. I have applied for SSD and SSI, as well as all the programs Social Services offers-don't know how many I'll be approved for. All of my bills are in collection, and the bank has threatened to take my house because I couldn't pay on my home equity line of credit for the last 2 months. I also haven't paid my property taxes for the last 2 years, so the town has also threatened to take my house.
Normally, I would be on the phone with my parents or my sister because they were so good at dealing with things like this. Now, although my friends and sister and brothers are supportive, they don't have any answers for me. Everyone is having their own problems in this economy anyway.
Both my kids are grown-one in Spain, and one in Washington DC. My daughter in DC tries to send me money if she can-she's a grad student, so really doesn't have much. My son in Spain keeps telling me he can't afford to send me anything-I feel really hurt by that, but I don't really know his situation because he is not in contact with me very much.
I guess I am just missing having my parents and sister there when I pick up the phone to call them. There is no one who can give me any advice. And my Dad was so smart-he was a patent attorney, but knew how to solve any problem. Right now, I just want to call him and ask him what do I do now. But knowing that I cant do that is really making me sad-I'm crying while I writing this, and I haven't cried over him and my Mom and sister for such a long.
I guess you never really get over the loss of someone close. I never really thought I'd be feeling so down like this-I thought I was over this deep sadness many years ago, but I guess not.
I'm sorry this post got so long-I hope I didn't bore you. But thank God there is a place I can come where the people know what I am dealing with. God Bless. Kathy
First, you need to get your finances in order. Call your Senator and tell him that you have applied for SSDisability but you're about to lose your home. Tell him the whole story -- HE WILL HELP YOU!! Probably in no time, you will get approved!! My Senator got me approved right before I was to go in front of the Judge for approval -- I never had to go. So your Senator CAN help you!! Please call him.
Also, I have a feeling you haven't completely grieved for your Dad or your sister. or Mom. You've had too many things going on for you to really grieve. You need the help of a grief counselor -- but I know you can't afford one. Could you talk with your pastor or a trusted friend?? You need to get your feelings out in the open - you need to cry and have a GOOD "falling apart" but not one where you can't function! LOL
I feel like an orphan too ~ both my parents are gone and it just doesn't feel right. There are so many times I want to call them and tell them or ask them something. Gosh I miss them. My husband died 9 years ago too, so that's a big hurt too. But we do go on because we have to.
I'm glad you posted. You'll find a lot of support here. You can vent any time you need to. Best of luck and God bless you. Hope to hear more from you. Hugs, Lee
~constructionworker
We take our battle scars and march on.