Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
My name is vader.I am 63 years old and old enough to be anyones grandmother.My boyfriend of 12 years committed suicide on May 22nd,2009 and all of these months have been hard.If it wasnt for the great people of Daily Strength...i wouldnt know what to do.But being a person in mourning let me say this and i hope that all men viewers dont get upset but when it comes to bereavement men react in a different way and some of them do not cry or grieve.When Brad lost his father in 2004,he did not cry.He held it in and did not talk about it.And then re moved all of the pictures of his father as if he did not exist.Brad stopped talking about him.He did not attend any kind of therapy and this is why men have more heart attacks and stress,when it comes to these
emotions and real life situations....men simply do not talk and bottle everything up.We cant live this way.We must teach men how to react and how to deal with death.We must teach men that grief is a normal emotion and it may take months or years to recover but we must teach them.We must teach all men that sports isnt the answer and neither are affairs.We must teach them to live in the moment and we must do it now.
emotions and real life situations....men simply do not talk and bottle everything up.We cant live this way.We must teach men how to react and how to deal with death.We must teach men that grief is a normal emotion and it may take months or years to recover but we must teach them.We must teach all men that sports isnt the answer and neither are affairs.We must teach them to live in the moment and we must do it now.
I think she appreciated that-! She's been a little sweeter to me ever since. She can see that I (and others) love her. It's helping her win this battle.
Oddly enough, I lost my 28 yr/o son Michael on that very same day you lost Brad. My daughter and I have been able to express our grief, and to some extent my new husband, who knew my son for 2 years, has cried and been a great comfort to me. At least he understands where I'm coming from. My son's father, however, has shown little emotion other than at the time of my son's very unexpected death, and at the funeral. He has systematicaly gotten rid of all my son's things (my son had been living with him at the time of his death.) The day he brought me the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby car that he and Mike made together, I looked at him, incredulous, and said, " Are you SURE?" That was the one time he did fight back tears. But he just walked away and looked over his shoulder and said, " Yeah, you can keep it for me." He will talk about Mike occasionally, and joke about him a little, but it is clear he does not know what to do with his pain. I've gone to a private counselor, been to several face to face grief groups, plus participated in DS, all of which have helped tremendously. I don't think he's done anything. I reached out for help because I KNEW I wouldn't make it without it. I don't think he realizes he isn't coping well--just kind of "existing." But that's his choice.
It sounds to me like your Brad was "stuck " in his grief and didn't know how to deal with it or wouldn't try. Some people are just stubborn. I've met women who actually do talk about their grief, but maybe not with the people who can help them, and they also get stuck. So it isn't just a specifically male thing.
And you aren't old enough to be MY grandma--we are the same age! I look forward to many happy years ahead, so don't think you can't have them, too. Good luck to you.
Hugs, Cherie