Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Brads father died on 1/8/2004.He was 74 and in very ill health.Brad was the last one to see him alive and he saw me too..but I do think that he was going...The coffin was closed and it was up in Auburn and on the day of the funeral...the car went burst...Oh we made it to the funeral..it was after it and i didnt think that his sister was to thrilled.We had to leave the car in Auburn.The Auburn told us that the car had to be off the street within 24 hours and since this was sunday...in this town..not even a towing company was opened..until a young kid saw the car that was disabled.He towed the car from Auburn to Seattle...it cost the both of us 169.00!And when Brads father died..well..he began to get koo-koo.And if anyone does visit here..you will see that there are no pictures of his parents...or sister.All of my pictures are in the garage cause it is a small house and i dont have the room..but Brad removed all of his fathers pictures and refuses to talk about him.It is like that the man just didnt exist.But when the anniversay comes around and there is a reunion...Brads'drinking buddies and him drink.When he came home..he was totally wasted and I mean wasted...noone knows what it is like to be married to a alcoholic.In
fact...noone feels sorry for you..but when an alcoholic gets upset...they dont talk about their feelings...they drink.Brad began to drink
heavily.And I mean heavily.He was trying to hide the pain..but noone sees mine and she is so stupid that if I cried in front of her..she would say what is wrong? Brad did not leave the house for 5 days...he is on medical leave from the company...he told the supervisor that he has a drinking problem and needs rehab...and rehab in Washington...a good rehab is 18,000.00.When I called for help for Brad...and asked for him to be admitted...they asked me how I was going to pay for it...Brad saw an ad from the tv and this guy has a wonderful success rate..he also gets 35,000.00 and this place takes credit cards...and insurance and even cash..they do not take Medicare or SSI.The final segment happened when I came home after buying the cats food..I heard a crash..Brad had fainted and his head hit the bed and he was bleeding...his face was all white..I thought that he had a heart attack and he told me not to call the police.The police here did not do a good job the last time.The one who drove us to the hospital was rather rude.I felt like I was being on trial.I felt dammned.And none has the right to make you feel dammned.The cats wouldnt come near Brad at all.Kramer hit under my bed.Tooey stayed in the bathroom and peed on the floor!But I have noticed when a man in seattle has grief and I have attended a great deal of these support groups...after it is over...they all go to the local bar...Men must learnt the drinking,drugs,cocaine,crack,lsd and stuff like this..wont help them...it will get worse..but when the anniversayr does approach wouldnt it be nice if Brad would talk to me about his feelings? Because he never does.
fact...noone feels sorry for you..but when an alcoholic gets upset...they dont talk about their feelings...they drink.Brad began to drink
heavily.And I mean heavily.He was trying to hide the pain..but noone sees mine and she is so stupid that if I cried in front of her..she would say what is wrong? Brad did not leave the house for 5 days...he is on medical leave from the company...he told the supervisor that he has a drinking problem and needs rehab...and rehab in Washington...a good rehab is 18,000.00.When I called for help for Brad...and asked for him to be admitted...they asked me how I was going to pay for it...Brad saw an ad from the tv and this guy has a wonderful success rate..he also gets 35,000.00 and this place takes credit cards...and insurance and even cash..they do not take Medicare or SSI.The final segment happened when I came home after buying the cats food..I heard a crash..Brad had fainted and his head hit the bed and he was bleeding...his face was all white..I thought that he had a heart attack and he told me not to call the police.The police here did not do a good job the last time.The one who drove us to the hospital was rather rude.I felt like I was being on trial.I felt dammned.And none has the right to make you feel dammned.The cats wouldnt come near Brad at all.Kramer hit under my bed.Tooey stayed in the bathroom and peed on the floor!But I have noticed when a man in seattle has grief and I have attended a great deal of these support groups...after it is over...they all go to the local bar...Men must learnt the drinking,drugs,cocaine,crack,lsd and stuff like this..wont help them...it will get worse..but when the anniversayr does approach wouldnt it be nice if Brad would talk to me about his feelings? Because he never does.
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Alcohol is always separated from drugs but, truth is, it is a drug too, it's just legalized.
Most alcoholics start to drink to mask or hide a hurt or, some kind of pain. It may be from their childhood, or work, or their marriage/relationship, whatever.
After a period of time, they lose control over how much they drink and the alcohol takes control.
I used to have a saying years ago. "first you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink then, the drink takes you.
Alcoholism is one of the hardiest addictions to break because it is so accessible, just like nicotine and cigarettes are.
When anyone tries to deal with a person who has been drinking, you are not dealing with a rational person. They don't think like you do, they don't react like you do and they often get mad because you are trying to pry into a subject they don't want to deal with anyway.
Brad must at some point realize that alcohol does not change the hurt or pain, it only is a quick fix for a short time but, the consequences are bad and the pain is till there.
I have been there as far as the pain is concerned but , mine was due to my screwed up first marriage and the war zone i lived in at that time .
Alcohol also disinhibits people and for some it is the only way they can let themselves feel anything.