I got to know 3 of my grandparents, one died when my dad was a little boy. I did get to know one great grand father fairly well, so that counts eh?

I think I understand what some of your friends are trying to say in that the passing of my grand (and great grand) parents impacted me far less than the passing of my parents. But that is just me. My sister took the passing of one of our grandmothers very hard, in fact she took most passings of relatives quite hard. And that was her.

Sadly my sister passed before our parents, so I have no idea how she would have dealt with their passing.


That all being said, each passing is different, and each person dealing with the same passing will take it differently. That is just a fact of being human. Don't let those people get to you. At worst they don't understand, at best they are trying to make you feel better.

I think that one of the worst things we can do is let somebody else tell us how to feel, and how to act. True, it might be best for the person who is dying to not see us cry, but when we are out of their field of comprehension we have the right to be who we are.

Holidays will hit hard; I am going on my second set of holidays without dad (he passed in August 1 1/2 years ago) and third without mom. I finally realized that must be why I'm kind of bummed out right now.

Please, vent all you need here! Cry, yell, scream, pout, blame, bargain, do what ever it takes to help you deal with the emotions of loss.

gentle hugs

I am so,sorry for your loss....I have found the holidays hard as well I think most people do when they lose someone that they love
Feel however you need to feel sweetie....letting the feelings out is an important part of grieving and healing...I'm glad you have great memories ...I reflect on the wonderful memories often and they bring a smile to my face now....The passage of time and healing helps that to happen....Big hug and a blessing..xo

I'm so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter what other people think, but rather how you feel. You have a right to your emotions. I do think that your quite lucky to have been able to share with your grandparents and love them just as much as your parents. One of my Grandmas passed away when I was pregnant with my first child. I remember that day clearly, the thoughts of her age did not come to mind. I had just lost a woman who I adored. She was so awesome. It happened on April 25, 1999. I was awakened by my cousin who was also close to our grandma. I could tell there was something wrong, and she quietly said to me, "Grandma won't wake-up." Then I replied, well, wake her up, why is she not waking up. My cousin continued to repeat the same thing, Tio (uncle) can't wake her up! I started screaming for my mother as I ran into her room. "Mom, Mom, Abuela won't wake up, Tio can't wake her up!" My mom feel off the bed and we just held each other crying. We lived an hour away so we had to get ready to Chicego with the rest of the family. When I saw my grandfather lying in bed in a fetal position, crying for my grandma I fell to the floor and couldn't control my emotions. My aunts had to throw water on me and send me off. I remember others saying. That was so hard. I feel your pain and I empathize with it.
Just know that it's okay to cry, it doesn't matter how old she was, you loved her and your heart has to respond to her loss. Especially when the holidays are approaching.
When you are feeling down, write her letters and let the hurt out. Keep a journal of all the good memories you had with her and treasure it. Remember that she always loved you and is now looking down at you as you go through your pain.
I'm not sure if you believe in Jesus, but He is the way to get through this pain. Give it to Jesus, He is here to help us through these rough times.
My quick prayer for you and please forgive me if I have overstepped, I am hurting too.

Father God, we come to you in Jesus's Name and ask for your mercy through these rough times. Let us remember the good and be joyful. Comfort us when we are down and out. Guide our hearts and our minds as we through ourselves at your mercy. When we are weak Lord, you are strong in us and all though we may not feel your comfort, we know that it is there. Thanks so much for your love and for this support group that you have let us be a part of to comfort one anther as you wish us to do. Let your words come out and give us the courage to accept your give of faith and trust in You. May Your Grace be upon all of us in this support group who are looking for comfort. let us find it in you and with one another as Your divine plan wills to be.
We ask You Jesus for Your calming hands to rest on our restless hearts today and always
In Jesus name we pray and give thanks for Your Glory
Amen!