Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Almost 2 months ago I lost my Nan, it was totally sudden, heart attack, no signs beforehand other than the night it happened. This is the first time I have lost someone so close to me and I have no idea how to deal with it. Up until now I almost ignored the fact that it had even happened, which I know sounds strange but I just don't think I wanted to accept it. My Nan was literally my best friend in life and it's the biggest loss I have ever experienced. Everything now just seems so pointless, I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, or finish my studying - there doesn't seem to be a point to anything anymore because what does any of it mean if she isn't here to see it? This is the most painful thing I have ever known, people tell me to just remember the good parts but how can I do that when she isn't here? What's the point? I didn't get enough time with her, or get the chance to tell her how much I completely adore her with every inch of me. I'm not coping well at all and already have a history with mental health issues. Completely stuck on what to do.
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
What's so strange about not wanting to accept the loss of love? I'm around 4 months into grieving the loss of my beloved son (35) and strongly believe I need to be gentle with myself about my emotional resistance to accepting that he is gone. My emotions have/are running the full gauntlet around the loss and I believe I need to let that be okay. It's a BIG ol' hurt. It's okay to say, "Ouch" and whatever other pops up around the tragedy. I even let myself curse like an angry sailor when my heart needs to curse. NFF! ! ! No Fucking Fair! ! !
When I feel completely stuck on what to do, a post like this one often helps me get unstuck. How 'bout it? Did it help any?
Side Note:
When I read your part about not being able to get out of bed in your morning, I thought I heard a woman's voice saying sternly, "Get your ass out of bed and crack those books, Girlie." Was that your Nan?
Can you tell I believe our departed loved ones are still with us in spirit? My Nan wanted me to pursue engineering instead of the sewing she taught me. She died in 1974 and I am utterly convinced she is still breaking my sewing machines. I took your advice, but I'm retired, Nan. I can have hobbies now. Behave.
It helps me to believe my "Granny" and my son are both still very much with me and every day is a tribute to our special love. I only believe. Proof irrelevant. The wounds of losing my son are still fresh and tender but I feel he and Granny, with an ancestral host of others coaching me through. They haven't been taken from me. They've only changed form.
What I wouldn't give to hug those forms today. . . In my heart, I am.
The first cut is the deepest that's for sure.
Give yourself time to grieve. Take it one moment at a time taking deep breaths.
All you can do is put one foot in front of the other. Try to keep to your routine even though you don't feel like it. It will help occupy your mind.
Wishing you all my best
1) There are many many books on grieving. Check the big online bookstore and read the reviews. Some approach from a faith perspective and others from a psychological one. Some of them cater to certain types of loss, like parents.
2) Get counseling assuming you can afford it. It will help if you find a good therapist experienced with grief. You may uncover some other issues to work on.
3) Join a support group. If you are okay with a faith-based group, check out Griefshare.org. They do 13-week courses through churches all over the country. The site has a search feature for your area. Other support groups vary by area. But hospices and hospitals can usually refer you. Its good to talk with people going through the same thing.
4) Spend time with friends and family. Figure out which ones are more willing to provide a shoulder and an ear.
5) Talk to clergy if you attend church.
6) On-line groups like this one. Lots of specialized loss groups on FB too.
Don't worry if the pain gets worse. There is no timetable to grief. Everyone is one their own path through this terrible time.