It's not true that you should be "over" your mom's death. There will always be times when you will feel this loss and be sad. I'm sorry that you've been feeling so bad lately.

Talk to her. She may not be here for you to see her, but she is watching over you now. Joining this sight is a good start as well. I have found many compassionate people who are going through the same thing. Someone had suggested writing either a journal or letters.

When I lost my girl Molly, I wrote journal entries to her almost every day. I still do sometimes and it has, and still does, make me feel like she's right here with me.

Just write, exactly like you would speak to her. Pour it all out.............. Write out everything you do to get ready for the wedding, the things you'd like her input on, the stuff that would make her crazy......... the stuff that makes you crazy......
Your good moments and bad, good days and bad. Just write until your fingers fall off............

And after the wedding, when you get all the pictures back...
go reread what you've written and add more.....
It will hurt, but being without her already does that anyway. And it's a different kind of pain that also seems to let you feel closer to her........
It won't fix it............. but I think it might help.

And she is with you, you know.........
Even if you can't tell, she's with you every minute of the day.

Thank you all for your kind replies. It has helped me. I've moved to a new city where I don't have ANY family and its kind of hard to call family back home when I'm feeling this way. I do write to my mom and I have about 2 books that I write to her. It really does help. I will continue to do that. Janine, I have written until my fingers have fell off several times :). Thanks to you all here I actually feel a little lighter today. Thank you.

I LOST MY MOM 5 MONTHS AGO. YOU NEVER GET OVER A DEATH OF YOUR MOM ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WERE SO CLOSE. TALK TO HER AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. I FIND MYSELF TALKING TO MOM ALOT IN THE CAR. I START CRYING BUT ITS GOOD. I ALSO VISIT HER ONCE/WK AT THE CEMETRAY AND TALK TO HER THERE AND TELL HER WHATS BEEN GOING ON. 2001 IS A LONG TIME SINCE YOUR MOMS DEATH. I THINK SINCE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENT GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE IT JUST MAKES YOU MISS YOUR MOM MORE AND WISH SHE WERE HERE. I KNOW I WOULD TOO. GOOD LUCK/HUGS.

I lost my mother 3 yrs ago - I was 44 yrs old - and I feel exactly like you do - I still cry and feel like I should be over it but I'm not - my husband lost his father 3 months after I lost my mother - and his mother has been gone for 9 years now - and he has dealt with his losses fine - he deals with everything fine - but he also has siblings and friends he is close to - I want you to know that my mother passed away the week before my daughter's wedding - which she so looked forward to attending - and I truly feel that she was present in spirit - also, my other daughter got married last summer, and I feel that she was there watching - it was extremely difficult to have my mother's funeral on a Monday then my daughter's wedding on the Saturday -- at least the services happened at different churches with different priests -- I, too, feel like it's taking everything I have sometimes to make it through each day - I went to counseling for a year after she died and was told that everything I was feeling was okay and that I was dealing with it fine -- but I feel very lonely and miss her terribly and was hoping that a support group like this might help - just knowing others are going through the same feelings. Please enjoy your wedding day and know that your mother is there with you in spirit - watching you - Take care.

I lost my dad 11 years ago and I am sorry to say it is something you never really get over. You just learn how to cope better. I find that talking to him makes me feel closer to him. I also find that telling people stories about things I did with him or things about him help me feel better too. What works for one person may not work for another. Just remember that she is always with you and the death of a loved one isn't something you get over you just learn to handle it better.

I am so very sorry that you are sad right now.

Hi. I know what it's like my oldest son died in 97, and I still have a very hard time with it. My heart go's out to you. My parent's are gone, and my only brother died last year, and my only sister has alzheimer's and is in the last stage of this awfull disease. .Moo

first, i am very sorry to hear that your mother passed on. there is no time limit on your grief....grieve, remember the good times and celebrate your mothers life, ALWAYS....remember, all in time...take each day slowly. I,lost my father suddenly in 1998, a year from my wedding...i, like you, was VERY WORRIED that I would be hysterical. Remember, crying is good, healthy, you are NOT going to ruin your day by crying...you lost your mother, not a neighbor/stranger....we only get one mother, that is one of life's sure things. I believe that your mother does hear you, guides you and sends you strength from above.

Have you tried grief couseling? I was in therapy on and off again for many years. When my father passed so suddenly at the age of 59, which is way too young, I thought I had all the answers..boy was I WRONG!!!

Do you have any groups in your local church/centers for breavement group nights? That may help, too....hugs and hang in there.

I too lost my mother, and my wedding day was hard, but it helped to focus on my husband and everyone who was there. There were times during that day that I could feel her preasence and that made me feel good. She will be there with you on your wedding day you just won't see her. She will come to you in your dreams someday and that is when you will get that advice and those hugs you miss. I had a dream recetly and I woke up still feeling her huging me tightly. I have never felt so good as the morning I woke up to that. Just remember she is with you for all those important events in your life.

I lost my mom this past August 2006. Not very long ago.

First of all, you will always miss your mom's presence, doesn't matter how long since she passed over.

Secondly, your mom is always and forever with you, her love and spirit lives on within your heart and mind. It's only her body that is gone.

She can't give you conversational advice, but she's with you all the way. I'm sure she will be sharing your joy on your wedding day.

Just remember that - it's only her body that's no longer here. The rest of her is with you all the time.

hugs and prayers,
Becky

Thank you all for your replies. I did get counseling for a short time about 2 yrs ago. It helped a little but I stll felt alone and that noone knew what I was going through. I joined this site looking to hear from people who have experienced it. Which I'm so glad I did because I have heard stories like mine and I know I'm not strange or something :). I think this site is going to help me alot. My wedding is on March 17th and I only have about 2 weeks left. I feel know that its okay for me to cry but I'm a little more confident that I won't ruin the day. I wanted to deal with this now and have ways to get me through my wedding day. I think I'll be more happy than sad and think about her watching over the wedding. This is the first time since my mom passed that I have had any kind of contact with other people who have went throught the loss of losing someone. Other than my family going through the loss of my mother. Again Thank you all for your replies and I look forward to feeling better from this site.

you are going thru a very emotional time in your life now--getting married. and i know you would love to have your mom there with you. she will be. you may not see her, but she will be there. i lost my mom almost 2 months ago and i still cry and i talk to her just like she's still here. that's the only way i know to cope. as for your wedding, my co-worker just got married and had just lost her dad not a year before then. she walked down the aisle by herself and in her beautiful bouquet was a picture of her dad. he was there physically (in picture) and he was smiling down on her. her wedding was outside and the weather was so beautiful. he gave her that. things with the wedding usually always go crazy, but don;t let that ruin your day. talk to her. she will get you thru.

Its never over. And unfortuanatly there will always be moments when you would give anything to have the person there. Your wedding day will be hard but know that shes with you and go ahead and cry its your day and shes not there to share it. I know when I get married someday I wont be able to stop crying because my daddy is not there to walk me down the aisle. But I wathed this show with this one medium, and he spoke to a new bride and said that her dad had heard her when she spoke with him at her wedding and just know that our parents will both be there in spirit on our special days.