I'm so sorry! I did the same thing when my hubby passed. I felt it wasn't real, I was in a bad dream and I'd wake up. But I never did. I was numb, my emotions were a wreck. I dont even remember his funeral. I was numb for awhile. Emotions are all messed up. Sad, angry,disbelief, all of them just one after another.
I'm starting to wake up now, after 6 months ( everyone is different ) I'm pushing my self to stay strong for our young boys. Iv read many books and I'm learning more and more. Just let your emotions flow, don't bottle them up. You will in time accept her passing, and know that she's ok. Come here and talk to us, we have all been threw the nightmare. Were here for you. I'm here for you!

Hello, I'm also sorry for the loss of your dear grandmother. It is sad but so true, that facing the realization of someone we thought would be here forever, is gone. Please find comfort in knowing that they'll never be really gone because they will live within us, for the rest of our lives. Just think of them in a better place, void of any pain and suffering, and rejoicing with the Lord. Imagine they have a place reserved for us, and we'll rejoin them in a wonderous celebration one day. Don't try to forget the loved ones gone before us. Avoidance and denial will possibly make it worse later on. No doubt, you miss her but, embrace your fondest memories of her, and it may help you through your roughest times. In my darkest days, since I lost my beloved Dad, he still seems to pick me up, when I fall. Take care.

I keep hoping someone made a mistake, that she'll come through the door mad at me cause she had ben in the hospital all this time, and I just didn't come to see her becouse I thought she was gone, wishing some one got her name wrong or mixed up,in some ways I'm still in shock and everything seems so sureal, you think your invicable, and this cant happen to you until it does, and reality hits you like a ton of bricks, denile was short lived for me, now its just disbelief of how random the loss of her was, one minuet were in the wind, having a good time, and in an instant death, pain and misery, its overwelming. To be put through such trauma, and there are moments when things seem ok but in no time reality is on you again.

I hope the misery eases up on you, and I am very sorry for the loss and what your going thru, its trully hard and at times almost unbearable.

That sort of numbness and disbelief is part of the grieving process, and we all experience it. You NEED to go through all the phases if mourning - that is the beginning of your healing. Things are never the same, but the different road also becomes familiar in time, and it is right and wholesome that you begin to laugh, to enjoy special moments.To live again, and to make her proud of you by being the best you can be. She sees...she knows.

My beautiful mom passed away in July of Pancreatic Cancer. the pain from missing her is unbearable. This is the type of cancer that there is no early detection. She was a healthy vibrant woman who did not deserve this. I would like to connect to others who have also lost a love one. Jayne

When my mom died everyone was expecting me to lose it. I really couldnt and I teared but i had dealt with friends deaths in the past tragic and others so it didnt really hit me. I slowly over time cry every so often and let it out. I kept thinking god im gonna break one day later on and its gonna make me go insane. But it hasint I just greive diffrently then some. Everyone greives diffrently and some dont cry all at once. I live in another state so its easy to think she is fine just at home doing ok sometimes. other times i regret going back because i know she wont be there. in time you will deal with it in your own way. hugs to you!

I totally felt like this when my aunt died. Last year. :(

It will hit you later and it will be horrendous. because you love her and you are in shock right now. it will be painful but it will ease up....and when it does you may have moments when you feel like you're going to lose it. and when you feel like u may lose it...lose it ...let it go...cry until u just cant cry anymore. and then pick yourself up. i felt the same way when my mother died this past Feb...we still have her ashes so at times i look at the urn and think "there is just no way! NO WAY MAN! not my mama...i dont believe this!!!" just know that you are not alone. and this is a good place to be even if it's just to compare and realize you're not going crazy. please continue to express yourself...maybe find a local support group. Some (id like to say most) hospices have free counseling that are open to the public....but find someone to talk to.