Yes I relate. I lost my husband in july, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other

Hello Artchick.

I understand that you are in bereavement with the loss of your dear young son, Ethan. I express great sympathy. I am so sad for this news. Then I've experienced times where I had strong thoughts & feelings of sorrow as well; though expressions of emotional stress does indeed at odd times enter in as waves of challenging afterthoughts, in the dark of the mind. Yes, I can relate to how you feel now. Things can improve with a good plan of action to battle away deep emotions. Hope is faithful. Please stay focused on positive ideas or thoughts as you can.

As a school teacher, I admire that you are considering your students well-being while at the same time attempting to find proper coping skills for your own pain. I'm certain that you desire to manage composure in the classroom. And as you are still struggling with acceptance of painful loss, traditionally it is often a test of patience during situations of disagreeable or discourteous manner or actions of others. And this is because your own emotional state of grievance is enlarged at present & there is chemical energy released for the process of grief bursting out with that of the forceful feeling of annoying displeasure with the behavior of immature classroom students. Actually, this is somewhat like venting for you. However, addressing the matter in this way was a wise & beneficial attitude for all of you; for we are all experiencing turbulent times and we all should be mindful of our conduct & stay in hope for good or the better of times, holy, exceptionally kind and patient in behavior, as we can see that many people are dealing with very difficult situations, all over the world.

I am pleased that you already have a good resource of listeners on hand for comfort. Yet it may simply be that the feeling of being alone is a signal to take considerable action with the importance of taking better care of yourself in a physical way. Such as: exercising, eating a balanced diet, opening up to new outdoor adventures, dancing, caring for the aging, pursing creative & fun activities, try new cooking ideas, spend time planting or maintaining an outdoor relaxing space and even in-home redecorating has a positive impact, and you understand how to add to the ongoing lists of suggestions as well. ツ Find ways to enjoy yourself by physically moving yourself; brisk body movement is important, and this is what I'm encouraging or prompting you to try out for the sake of overcoming that lonesome feeling. And do add quality sleep to the list as well. Introducing new relaxation techniques during the day helps. What you hope for is to release feel-good chemicals, those hormones that help chase-out anxiety & stress. And I really, really personally understand that as a teacher it's sometimes difficult to avoid stress. Still you have to maintain ideas of wellness & end & begin your day feeling properly refreshed in body & emotionally composed in spirit.

Hoping all your troubles are light & momentary, Artchick.


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Hello Artchick,
I know exactly what you mean. I lost my 22 year old daughter in July. At this point, I think what I am grieving most is the loss of her potential in life and the what she will miss out on with her son (2 yrs old). There's NOTHING that's okay about losing someone so young. I, too, have a wonderful support system but understand the feeling of being alone even in a room full of others. No one else can know the emptiness and pain you feel. I feel like her loss is a big hole in my heart and the scab is ripped off every day as soon as I awake. She is always in my mind, but I've noticed lately that I am able to compartmentalize my thoughts about her when I need to focus on something else. I admire you so much for being able to continue teaching. Your dedication to your students is outstanding and I suspect your guidance for them is exactly what you would advise your son to do. Blessings to you and keep your faith. Sometimes it's the only thing that we can exercise to find any comfort from the pain. Karen

Thank you all so much. I feel I am in a rut with my grief lately. I know I would feel better if I would exercise and get movie doing things. I have been real bad lately at just coming home from school,climbing in bed and watching tv. There are so many things I need to do around the house or could be doing. It's like I can't motivate myself to do anything. I know this is something I must overcome. Also I feel I keep a lot inside and it builds up because I don't want to bird in anyone. Thanks for listening! It means a lot! Oh and I know exactly what u mean about feeling alone even in a crowd of people. I feel lonely even with family...its just something I got to learn to accept and deal with.

I see auto correct changed a few of my words...makes me look like a dummy lol

You are very kind to come back for expressing gratitude, and it's a pleasure for anyone to uplift you, Artchick (Speaking on behalf of all). And your habits right now are to be expected. There is really no rush. Moods are tiresome at first & fact is that you spend so much time around the bustle of busy students while at work, so no wonder that a good relaxing movie & soft bed are waiting at home. All else to do can wait as well, such as doing things around the house. Okay to keep a daily routine that works for you. As long as nothing unusual is stacking up inside your home, putting off household work day by day, to the next day, then to next week, a month or even year is satisfactory. There is a lady I know of who's battling the loss of her husband, and she has a very difficult time deciding what to do with all of his machinery, which is in stacks & piles of boxes on top of several shelving units, which is inside an already cluttered garage, and it's been five years since he passed. As I explained to her, at some point she will have to take an action at cleaning out the space & sorting for give away or donation, but then it really is her choice to decide when she is ready to do this. Although, it is important that some family & friends are charting her progress. It such cases hoarding disorder could become an issue when left without attention to such matters.

You are coping well for now though, and you can always do a few small physical stretch movements while watching TV, even in bed; just be creative with ideas, dear friend! And do stay comfortable no matter what.

Remiah ღ༺༻ஐ

I read your post and felt tears as sometimes what is going on in the world makes me feel exactly the same, I see people behaving badly or spitefully and think 'cant you see what is going on around the world?' so I just wanted to send you a hug and tell you you are not alone, and your students are very lucky to have someone with your heart and compassion. I am so very sorry to hear about your son, you must be an amazingly strong person to be able to think of others and have so much kindness in you for others when you are dealing with this, do you have people close who you can talk to about this? I cant begin to imagine your pain and I hope you have support close by, but please know there are so many kind caring people here for you, and we are here at any time if you want to talk, sending you warmest wishes and hugs xxxxx

Thank yall!!! Today is a better day. No less busy with my kiddos but I am handling it better today so far. Some days are just harder. I do have family and friends but everyone knows my story about my sons accident and its a very small community so I feel bad talking to the same ones about stuff all the time. I guess this makes me feel good because this group can relate. I am in a bereavement group for parents who have lost children and I have went twice. It meets once a month. I kinda made myself go to the meeting last time. I pretty much cried half the time I was there. But then everyone reassured me they had been where I was early in their journey. And we started telling funny stories about our kids and I am so glad I went ahead and went. We have our next monthly meeting next week so I am kinda looking forward to it. They know how I feel (which is sad) but also they can relate and talk about things. Again, thanks everybody!!!!

First of all I am so very, VERY sorry for your loss. My losses are my sister (mid 50s) and both parents (80s). Sadly my sister passed first, then my mom and then my dad. Mom took sis's death the hardest, mostly because she was in the early stages of dementia. Dad did manage to pull out of it, again I believe because his mental health was better. (They lost a child at birth many years ago, and they had that loss to lean on.)

But I agree: it is never easy to lose a loved one, but I think that the younger they are, and especially if they are our children, the harder it is to deal with.

But as you have found out, once you get a good support network in place it is less hard.

By all means, keep going to those meetings! As time passes I am sure that you will become one of the members who gives comfort to newer members.

Gentle hugs

Gentle hug for you sweetie....
I have lost my birth family however I am sure losing a child would be so very hard.... A very close friend of mine lost her daughter and she went to a group for parents who've lost children as well and she said it helped her a great deal.... She went for over a year and made a couple of wonderful friends as well....
I agree to continue to push yourself to get there.... Having a good cry can be very cleaning and therapeutic .... ....
I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain that you're in....
I have found the terrible disasters that have happened really upsetting as well.... Being empathetic isn't a bad thing .... Another hug and a blessing.....xo