First, let me say I am so sorry for your loss. Thats good that you are able to have his mother to talk to. I'm sure you are a wonderful support for her as well. Do you have friends or family you can talk to? Expressing and sharing your pain and grief is so healing. You are not alone. Prayers and hugs to you.

Big hug for you SW..... I am so very sorry for your loss.... I to am glad that you're close to his mom.... Alcoholism is such a devastating illness for the whole family
We have a Widows and Widowers board on here that is a very good and supportive place for those who have lost their life partner.... I am glad that you're here.... Another hug and a blessing.....xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers

Saying sorry is a powerful word to hear when tragedy
strike. It shows you are not alone. So I will say sorry for your pain. You are where I will be I just terminated
Life support on my wife
of 16 yrs It was a difficult
Decision but in my heart the right one
I have lost dear friends to alcohol so I know your pain
Being an alcoholic for many years I know what damage it can inflict I have been sober for 14 years now and I seen firsthand what it can do
You are in a place where
the whole world seems so closed off and small
I am sure I will feel the same way in the days to come
We have a saying in my AA
group the best way to heal is with another person who is going through what you are
Well I can safely say that
I am exactly where you are
So if I can help you heal
then you can help me
Contact me anytime

Thanks for your post It does help. I am really struggling right now yesterday I slept layed in the dark and cried off and on. I love my sons but right now I just don't want to be around anyone but I push myself when he comes home. Whats worse I hurt my good hip so I've been laying down alot. If I could sleep 18 of the 24 hrs in a day I would be happy I know so I think sleeping is my escape and it is alluding me.

I am really struggling right now can't get up hurt my good hip layed in dark room yesterday cried slept played bookworm on phone so I didn't have to think about it all. My doctors want to put me back on antidepressants Ive tried so many. Really just want to be alone even when my son comes home from work and he's trying hard to engage me and I put on a little act because I feel guilty for just about everything maybe there is a forum to help me not feel like everything is my fault.

Sadwidow do you have a bible in your dark room? Reading that, especially psalms, and new testament, anything really to help you learn of and lean on God should comfort you. Remember He is called the God of all comfort. His Holy Spirit is also called the Comforter. Take advantage of that and pour your heart out to God because he cares for us. Acts2:38 Acts 22:16 Mark 16:16 Rev 1:5 Talk to me also if you would like.