Hi Larance, I feel your pain and I know how hard it is. I lost one precious granddaughter at 6 weeks old and in March 2014 I lost my 25 yr old granddaughter. There are no words to describe the pain we feel, the loss of one so precious. None of us know how to cope, all we can do is to take one day at a time, but if I could give my advice it would be to seek help from your pastor or a therapist. The loss of a loved one especially a child is one of the hardest things we will ever go thru but there is help out there and here, never give up. Sending you big hugs and please share with us your feelings as often as you need to. We all want to help and give support.

Losing a child is very hard, my parents had a very hard time when my sister died. It is mostly a blur to me, I focused on helping mom and dad as much as I could.

I can not imagine how much more it hurts when it is a grand child that passes.

I do not know the secret to getting over it, but I know there is a path for each of us that will get us to a better place.

But I do know some things that do NOT work.

Staying strong for others, at the expense of dealing with our emotions, does not work. Our grieving builds up inside to the point that it is ready to explode; sadly we often try even harder to keep it in, to be strong for for others. Please, let it go, let it come out, cry, scream, sulk, do something.

Denial does not work. I'm not saying that we deny the death, that we convince ourselves that they are on a long trip and will come back some day. This denial is when we deny our emotions.

Some people can resolve their emotions, their feelings, the stages, by themselves. But most of us can not. The fact that you are here asking questions speaks volumes about that. Please, look for a bereavement class. Many hospitals sponsor such classes; they are often managed by religions institutions, so if that is an issue look for a class that is suited to your belief set.

We talk here a lot about the "new normal" that we all are seeking. If we try to define it too rigidly we will never find it. If we don't define it at all it will never exist to be found. Let it exist, give it some structure, but let love, time, and other family members help you build that new normal. It may be a new grand child at some point, it may be spending more time with the family members you do have, it may be volunteering at a local elementary school. There are hundreds of things it can be, let it grow.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am pleased to meet you, but sad for the reasons that have made our paths cross. (I have lost my sister - my only sibling - my parents, and all my grand parents. I have a few aunts here and there still.)

Gentle hugs

Pepperman, you have such great insights. Thank you for sharing, it helps all of us.

Thank you both Pepperman and HelpHealMom. I appreciate you both. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I feel like it's so unfair or like we've been cheated out of watching my preacious granddaughter grow. A month was definitely not enough time. I feel horrible all the time. But try not to upset my daughter. And not too mention my 10 year old son is taking the lost very hard also. ☹️

Huge hug for you and a blessing... I am so very sorry for your loss.... A real life support group might be a good way to help you through your grief.....xo