Hi Sophie!

I have sons that are just like Lewis; they tell me everything! We talk in confidence like sister and brothers, lol! I like what Lewis calls his mom the dutchess. The title seems just like what I can imagine of her. Lewis had to have pictured her as the true symbol of royalty and honor. I really feel for what shes going through. I hurt for you both. Im a tender-heart. Help me to see the day that Lewis and you became engaged, please. You can pm me if its very personal or private in content. I want all the wonderful details. Dont leave out a simple fact. I wish we could turn back the clock too. Just for you both. I do with all my heart, I feel just as you do. The tattoo of your name is forever with Lewis. Do you sometimes feel that Lewis knew your time on earth together was short, Sophie? I mean, the tattoo is kind of like a token of real personal commitment as I see it, almost like Lewis was thinking ahead just in case of this situation. He had to of really wanted you to have faith in his proposal even while away. Think about it; when a man puts your signature on his wedding finger, he aint going nowhere. He plans to stay put. Thats what I feel Lewis meant by doing this. Oh, and let me further explain the idea of marriage. Actually, what we call it here in the USA is a mock wedding. Its not legally binding. You can Google it to find out more. It really is a sense of a real wedding but its not officially recognized as a formal contract. Its really done mostly with young kids, a girl and boy. Its just planned by adults to have fun and to be cute. The kids do the same ceremony as the adults do, with the same vows and all the trimmings of a real wedding event. What I am suggesting is that you think about picturing Lewis and you as if that day is still ahead of you. Remember, such a ceremony is not recognized as the official government type of arrangement, with a valid license and all. Its just for fun and the sake of feeling what it is like to have married Lewis. Understand? It does not even have to be formal. You can use your family and friends to help you plan something personal but private in nature. Its just a thought.

Sophie everyone reading this will feel your pain. You only seem to be left alone. The hurt and pain causes you to feel like you want to stop the world and wait for Lewis to join us. What about Lewis is what your mind tells you. Its a common question with those grieving a very deep-sided loss. You are even normal to search for phone calls, text, messages and any other way Lewis contacted you. Its to be expected for a while. Its not a strange idea to even pretend that hes talking to you by phone, or to imagine what Lewis would tell you in a new text. Try remembering previous messages and conversations you had. Recreate conversations together as if Lewis can hear you speaking. Get a recorder and record your messages and play them back to yourself. Keep in mind, the spirit world is all around you just now. Lewis can hear you plainly; and if you are quiet and carefully listening, you will feel his loving words in response. And Sophie, dont be shy about telling your mom and dad to wake-up and sit with you when you are sad and lonely. As difficult as it seems, we all are feeling what you feel and we want to be there for you. You are not alone. We all love Lewis, because we all value people, life and love. People have love relationships in common and death cannot dissolve love or hope. I promise you this. I am here.

Hi Sophie,

I lost my husband September 11, 2011. We were married for 6 years and knew eachother for 6 1/2 years. I completely understand a broken heart now. I never knew one before. All I can say is that it's the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I am so sorry for your loss. It sucks no matter how you look at it. The only remedy is to keep breathing, one breath at a time and try to feel the feelings and get through them. I try to live in the moment. If I think of the past or my future I get extreme anxiety. Things are getting a little better I cry much less and I am able to control it a little bit better. I think the only thing that is going to get me through this is time. I feel very alone, my family dosn't live near me and I have a few friends. I hope the best for you, hang in there.

Jasmine

Sophie, I don't know what you're going through, but there are some very wonderful people here who are more than willing to lend a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen with, and hearts that break for your loss. We lost Daddy on 9/22/11, and Mom has been participating in the Widows and Widowers group here. Besides all the wonderful people here in the Bereavement group, there are many there, too, who will listen and help. She said there are those there who are like you, who lost a fiancee, and they have been welcomed with open arms in that group, too.

I hope you can find some healing and solace in the words of all the people here at DS--they've been immensly supportive of both Mom and me. (((Sophie)))

I'm so deeply sorry. I lost a man I loved three years ago and its still a rollercoaster for me. I've also lost three sibblings and my parents over the last few years. Grief never becomes familiar no matter how many times we experience it. I always feel like its the end of the world everytime someone is taken away from me, but by Gods grace, somehow I make it. Please take it one day at a time, its not easy and life doesn't get back to normal for a long time but I promise you, you'll feel a little better every day and eventually, even though the pain never leaves, it becomes a little easier to live with it. I know the feelings of emptiness, sadness, anger, guilt that you are going through. From the age of seven I've had to deal with a major loss every year and I'm not even forty yet. I'll be thinking about you......hugs

I am so sorry this made me realize not to take things for granted life is so fragile you joined a great support group I lost my mom in July and this group really helped me through the roller coaster ride of bereavement. Just know he is your angel at your side and he really isnt too far from you even though you can see him. I know that could make things feel worst but it is comforting and you will see as time goes on there will be signs. Stay strong and I will send healing vibes your way.

*cant see him