Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

3,877 Members

13,418 Posts

0 Online

duane 07/15/2008

Recently a quite a few people have been responding to a discussion item I posted last year about Widow remarrying. Thank-you for your replies.
I am truly happy for her and new family. The baby is really lovely. They have gotten rid all of my brother's items except for a tennis racket that I had asked for. Though she does not want me to come and pick it up, I will get when she decides to visit my folks.
Other than that I just want her to move on with her life. I really do not want any more contact then we have now...an occasional email for special occassions.
In 2 years I have lost two special people. I suffered a miscarriage 7 months ago for which she say she predicted and I really do not want to see her perfect little family. It saddens me to know that I may never children and if Duane was alive that lovely little baby could have been my neice.
I have not ill feelings for her, I just want to be left alone. Is that wrong?

deleted_user 07/16/2008

You're suffering the loss of your child and your brother. I think what you're feeling is very normal. I will keep you in my prayers.

deleted_user 07/16/2008

I think your feelings are completely valid and understandable. It's clear that you wish her the very best, but choose not to be part of her new life, with good reason. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

deleted_user 07/16/2008

With your brother gone, she is no longer really a relative, so you aren't that obligated to keep the relationship going, if it is uncomfortable. From past posts, she doesn't want you to have any of your brothers' things, and I can't understand that. SHe seemed to "control" your brother and everything about his mlife, and now wants to control you. Since she has moved on with someone else, and the baby is not your niece or nephew (by blood), it is fine for you to move on too. She could mail you the racket if she was a decent person. SHe doesn't sound so. I'm dorry for your loss, and all the pain she has caused you. It's just not right. You're not wring, cut the ties, and go on with your own life. You had a part of your brother that she never had. Maybe shes' jealous of that. Sending huggs Rainbow

deleted_user 07/16/2008

I think what your feeling is alright for you we each feel different I am sorry about your miscarriage and your brother take care of you and do what right for you hugskathyjo

deleted_user 07/16/2008

I think your feelings are understandable. At a time when you are still grieving over your brother, your former sister-in-law has done everything to erase your brother's memory from her life. She doesn't seem to even want any of you at her house.

If she had any compassion for you and your family, she would have let her husband's family choose what they wanted from brother's belongings.

No, I say let her do what she wants with her new life, and better for you to make a graceful exit from her life and devote your time to healing from your loss.

deleted_user 07/16/2008

I probably would be way less nice than that. My best friend has A new bf, and they are all lovey dovey in front of me and it makes me sick, actually pysically naseaus because i know how long it is going to be before that happens again for me. dont feel bad!

duane 07/17/2008

Thank-you all for your support. I just wanted to make sure that I was normal for feeling this way.

lindsey2008 07/17/2008

I totally agree with Rainbow, I would cut all ties!

Join the Conversation