I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. The only advice I have to offer is take things one day at a time, pray and seek counseling. I cannot even fathom losing a child. God bless you!

Dear Amy,
I can only imagine the intense effort it took for you to write out your thoughts and emotions; this is very personal communication due to the sad nature of your loss. I marvel that you are feeling up to it. But then, some people seem to have more freedom and comfort while expressing themselves in a group where others are journaling particularly unfavorable circumstances such as you describe. You are perhaps in the best position to tell your thoughts and feelings here at this site and find relieving recovery and better mental and emotional health. Its very clever of you to step away from the demanding differences with others and seek a productive avenue to gain peace and acceptance to grief. At this point, a vastly different approach to dealing with the matter is more sensible rather than the maddening differences with your family and husband. You have my concern, thoughts, best wishes, love and prayers.

Looking on the bright side of it, congratulations on having born such a beautiful and outstanding daughter! You should share your daughters achievements often. I realize that this time of mourning is a very serious condition for you now, but she had so many human hopes, joyful interests, and loving emotions. Live in the mist of her optimistic spirit for emotional safety. I am happy that she had a faith in God. It helps as you keep her promising memories in perspective and treat the loss as if she is still a person much as she was before. I dont desire to patronize you with a pitying tone, either. I want you to believe that your daughter is still just as she used to be in life, but is now only in another place of specific rest and joy.

Looking on the dark side of it, the loss of your daughter can form an anguishing mist of mixed emotions and greatly influence your usual behavior. The distressful sadness will at times have power to keep you vulnerable to such feelings as anger, loneliness, agony, lack of rest, poor eating habits, family and social withdrawal and guilt. This is happening because you miss a lot of happiness that could have been shared with your daughter had this tragedy not existed. The solution is in finding useful ways to cancel-out the complications that render you helpless. With a little help from a knowledgeable bereavement therapist who understands the nature of your feelings, these very real fears of loss and grieving naturally decrease. And, too, you may search online for other available resources that deal with grief matters. Another good idea is to see your primary doctor for emotional treatment. These suggested methods may help you to become better prepared or give you enough information on how to deal with grief counseling. Of course, the love for your daughter should never change, and absence always makes the heart grow even fonder, which is naturally a good feeling for you. What is important is that you remove all the nagging fear and not be confined to the agonizing elements of grief. I hope that you see youre healing many times faster than you ever imagined. Loving hugs to you!

Amy I lost my son in March and I am so very ( cant even think of a word that fits). But one night I asked myself " Just what have you done to deserve this much pain?" Then I realized that it had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do. It had to do with what HE did to deserve to be with our lord and to finally be at peace! I hope this helps you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, too, Amy. You've gotten such great advice from others, so I will keep this short.
Please do your best to spend quality time with your remaining children and seek counceling for them as well. Children grieve as strongly as adults and I'm afraid they feel even more lost and helpless when no one seems willing to communicate with them about their loss.
I've seen a website before on grieving children and activities for them. These activities would probably be a good source of healing for you as well.
Try to stay active outside, get fresh air and excercise like walking or biking, or gardening with the kids. Maybe make a box for the kids and you to write down your memories or thoughts of her and put the little papers in there, and at a special time during the week, you could share those thoughts. They're kids, but they haven't forgotten, either.
I will be praying for you.

((((((((((((((AMY))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((AMY'sKIDS))))))))))))))))))))

sending you warmth and comfort and prayers.

i really cannot imagine....

one day sometimes one minute at a time....

in my area we have a couple of great bereavement programs for death and dying. at those places i know they have great groups for kids...i hope you have something like that that you are willing to participate in in your area.....??

when we grieve we need extra sleep, extra comfort, good food, exercise might help. doing the routine is good in my opinion. you're doing everything right amy. i'm so proud that you reached out and you are seeking support.

you have done nothing wrong......

do something nice for yourself and your kids every day to honor everybody's grief.....and i'm really hoping that you will consider counseling for everyone...even the little one. bereavement in kids looks different in kids at different ages. you could learn more about that and be on the watch......

so glad you're here!

My dear amy "blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted saith the lord and you too shall be comforted through the pain and sorrow and loneliness we gain comfort and love from our heavenly father. your loss is i unimaginable i too have suffered a loss of my brother, and father recently know that with god his plan is much bigger than anything we can imagine in our own little minds. be comforted that your beloved daughter loved god and wanted to be close to him that is comforting as god has called her home and one day you will be greeted by her in gods time. there are many things we have no control over and gods plan is always at work even when we do not understand them. take care now of you young ones begin to heal one another time will heal you although it may seem impossible but with god all things are possible we have all through our losses moved up into gods plans and are drawn more closer to him with these losses than when we were without any losses at all. god bless you amy
the storm will slowly die down and god will guide you to more calmer waters in his time and yours...........do not expect so much from yourself right now there is no right or wrong do what is in your heart let it guide you now everything else will fall into place at the proper time............................................

Dear Amy, Although it may feel like it at times, You are most certainly not alone.
Be kind to yourself.
Just breathe.
Sometimes, some days, that's all we can do. Take it one day at a time. If need be, one hour at a time.
Keep searching, praying, crying, ...breathing.
You are not alone.

Dear Amy: You are never alone. Never because your wonderful daughter is with you in spirit but not in the flesh. There is a God who too has suffered and who loves us enough to give us promise of togetherness again in the Joy of Heaven.

All faiths have this belief since the beginning of time, and Christians specifically have the life and resurrection of Jesus as our eternal promise. Why this has happened to you may be a mystery until you ask God one day, but you have not lost her permanently, only temporarily. Take heart dear friend, feel the joy of your future meeting, live a full life as she would want you to.

With God's love, your family's love, your friends love and my love,

Joe