Bereavement Support Group
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i had to write this column and begin this discussion because soon it will be 5 years that i buried my sainted brother.There is a question that has been asked..How can I go on? Well..it has been so difficult for me and I wish that I knew the answers..But yesterday..I awoke up and I wasnt depressed.I realize now that Frank is gone and now I must do when I wanted to do when I moved here and thats sing..but now I have joined 2 new discussion groups and I intend to go to the first one on the 17th of this month.Frank and I have always liked good conversation..but havent anyone noticed in the past several years...that noone really talks? I asked Frank what he talked to the guys in his office before he got sick and he said"Vader..it is difficult with a man.Some men dont like to talk..When they do..it is always sports and sports trivia..I try my best to offer mine and I dont have problems." But what about when they discuss their children and grandchildren? I dont have any..what does a person say? How can I develop a rapport? Does anyone know? This is what Frank said to me about going on..I know that I will never be a CEO and I know that I wont have a talk show like Tyra Banks..I also know that I will never have a talk show like Jerry Springer..but I must really try to be interesting..but it is hard.And ever since she retired..all she wants to do it watch tv.!I asked her to go downtown with me for they were having bargains..I can get a calender fofr 50% off and when I did ask her..she told me that had to stay home because the movie Casino was going to be on! Casino is going to be on cable in January.I have never seen it..but to stay home because of a movie! This aint retirement!I have to do more things and try to meet more people..but I am not having luck..the other group liked to drink and I found this out.She must have had 3 beers and shared a bottle of wine with the others..I have to go on and really do stuff..but now I cant..but today..guess what? I didnt cry..I usually do.I cry about Frank at least once a week..brad doesnt have the same interests as me and he is not interested in what I like also..But have a good new year...and I am going to go back doing my astrology readings...And let me say this..of all the signs..Aries is the most successful and they will have a fantastic year!
joybells
It gets better with time.your brother is always with you in your heart and in memories.That's how you go on and get through the times when it is really hard.it's been 2 years sice my father passed away.Holidays are the hardest but we include my dad still with memories and remembering the good times.Dad would want us to be sad.Just like my dad your dear brother is in a better place and you'll meet again someday.
deleted_user
Hi Vader, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, I know the feeling as I have lost 3 brothers 2 in 2007 and 1 in 1989. It is especially hard on the anniversaries of their passing. They were special to me. They individually made their mark on the world. I know today they are in heaven and waiting for me along with my Mom and Dad and Grandparents. I still have 1 brother and 1 sister that don't live too far from me that I am very close to today. Have a very Happy New Year. Tom
vader
To all who replied..It is getting hard but Frank wanted me to mourn him only for a short period of time.You see..we are Italian and in those days..when someone passed..the whole house mourned for a long time.I still wear black and I still have the cross that Frank gave me..but now I am trying to dress in other colours and I am going to wear make up again.I dont look to good..someone told me today and I looked in a mirror..I look lousy.Things can be rough..but i have to start looking a bit better and to start doing things for myself and attending the meeting again.Vader and the cats.
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