Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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MamasChild1 05/16/2010

Not intended to sound like a personal pity party but I sat in Church this morning and this thought hit me suddenly. The place I'd worshipped years ago with my Mom - and where I've gone well after her passing, realizing I'd be alone. Despite having a friend helping me unexpectedly after Mama's passing - and despite that I KNOW we have God always there for us - I knelt there this morning, and this thought hit like a ton of bricks. And in public, I can't cry. So, there I knelt watching all the families together. I know others are alone but that didn't help.

My mother's passing left a void that is indescribable for me. She was part of my everyday life since I was born, and without her I'm just not complete anymore. It's like a tear in the universe that can't be repaired. And it's a feeling that has increased - not decreased - with time. Not just grief - but realization of the gravity of your loss - and the one person who would have consoled you - is the one who's gone? For those who are alone - totally alone - does this happen to you?

deleted_user 05/16/2010

You are not alone. I go to church every week and i always miss my parents not being there with me. There is one part of the mass when they offer a prayer for the ones who have gone before us and i also mention mom and dad silently. It will be 5 years this year an i still miss them. I know that thye are not suffering anymore and are in no more pain. septemberbaby24

deleted_user 05/20/2010

I am not totally alone anymore, but I remember feeling that when my mom was alive. I had no connection to people and thought no one understood what I was going through even the people at church that I grew up with. Now that my mom is gone and I am not alone, I still feel alone sometimes. I miss her consoling me and there are some things only she would know and no one else can be there the way she was. So yes I do feel this way sometimes. The loss of a mom is hard to bear regardless.

deleted_user 05/20/2010

hi Mamaschild1,
I have all those feelings for my Dad, I don't feel like I belong here now, I just wait and wait for the day I can be with him again. I feel so lost and SO LONELY, my Dad was the one who could always fix me now matter how bad things were, now he's the cause of my worst nightmare, a pain so bad I could never have begun to comprehend it until it happened. I am 5months in, sometimes I do find it harder, because numbness wears off more now and it's longer and longer since I've seen him, it's like it is becoming more real everyday. Yet as all this happens, peoples expectations change, they think you are ok because on the outside things do look ok, that's what I find. The messages of sending me love , hugs, "thinking of you" ....they have become less and less, this moves further back in people's minds while it remains at the very front of mine every second of every day.
I still have to sometimes tell myself what has happened because I feel so stunned, like knowing something bad has happened but not fully understanding it.

well, I know nothing I've said helps !! But I hope you know you are not alone feeling as you ,

hugs and love from a lost broken Daddys girl,

deleted_user 05/21/2010

Honey, you are not alone! 2 & 1/2 years since I lost my sweet Mom, my Rock, my Everything, I am surprised every morning that I can get out of bed! Betwwen the 4 wines to relax, the video games and Walgreens sleeping aide only 25mg. I sometimes only manage 6-8 hours.....
Somedays, I do not want to get up at all. I hope this helps!!

MamasChild1 05/22/2010

Thank you all for your kind words...It's so hard to get into computer lately (slow downloads, etc.) - I just don't come in as often. But each touched on various emotions I feel. Thank you.

deleted_user 05/22/2010

I know what it's like to be alone. I was lonley for many years. I am now married but I too lived with my Mom and am still close with her to this day. My heart is with you because I know how it feels to be alone and to just want someone to love you and have a good friend too. I was 36 when I got married and until that time I had no luck with friends or men. I wrote a poem during my lonely days which was:

I creep into your life without warning;
Sometimes my stays are long and sometimes they are short;
I am the most unwelcomed of all guests;
You can't see me but I am the most powerful force in your life;
Sometimes you can even feel me gripping at your shoulders;
You can't explain me to anyone because unless I have entered their life at somet point that cannot comprehend my great force;
You live with me because you have no choice;
I am a demon with no face;
Age is of no factor with me; Young or Old I can enter your life at anytime.
If you have not figured out who I am -- allow me to introduce myself:
My Name is Lonliness.

I will pray for you and you are not alone -- you have us on this board.

God is always with you -- talk to Him and He will guide you.

duane 05/23/2010

I also go to church weekly and it is always a struggle. I am so grateful that on major holidays we have mass with my grandmothers in their home so I do not have to face those special occasion memories in Church.
You are not alone, because you have us. Though there are times when I feel so abandon and alone that no one cares, something beautiful seems to happen, like a gorgeous sun set or a rare bird flys by to remind that God is always there.

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