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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

His Birthday

therisenfirebird91
therisenfirebird91

November 9th is dad's birthday.  The first one I will be spending without him.  It has been nearly a year since he passed, and I know that the next couple months are going to be nearly impossible to get through.


I'm not really sure how to cope tomorrow.  Every year for dads birthday i would make up a silly birthday song, and I wold get him an awesome gift and card, telling him how much I loved him.  Now I don't get to do all of that.  I have been staying strong for my mom but the closer the holidays have gotten, the harder it has been.  I don't want to do anything, and most days I cry any time I am alone.


I had originally planned on recordering his favorite gospel song, but I don't know that I will be able to.  I feel like I am just ranting....but I am so lost on how i am going to deal with this.  I am not okay, and I don't feel like I will ever be.  I miss him so much, and there are so many things that he isn't going to be here for, and my brain, nor my heart, are ready to comprehend that.

mngramma
mngramma
I have no wise words nor a solution to make you feel better. I will say you are not alone in your journey of grief. And you know what, it's ok to feel like crap or like giving up. Just remember, breathe. And if you need to talk, feel free to message me. I have a shoulder and a bit of strength to offer. By the way, my dad passed in 2010 from complications of lung cancer and Alzheimer's.
Hugs and understanding
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
My dad died just over a year ago, due to complications from hip replacement surgery and a long life of being over weight.

I attended a support group at a local hospital. There were a couple of ladies in the class who refused to grieve properly. (By properly I mean a good old cry, let it all out. Lose control, let OTHERS take care of them for a while.)

When they finally did that, wow, they both reported feeling so much better.

Lean on family members who are there for you!

Please, keep traditions going. Change them if you must. Perhaps a gift for a local charity? Write a letter to your dad? Honor him at dinner on his birthday? The important thing is to do something that works for you.

Gentle hugs
culda
culda
Don't be discouraged that holidays and birthdays give you a setback. It is certainly to be expected that this would upset your equilibrium, especially the first year. Be gentle with yourself, take the time and care you need to get through this. If it feels right, continue to honor your dad's birthday in some special way, maybe a totally new way that can become a new tradition?
dogofblue
dogofblue
I lost my Dad when I was 16, my Mom passed 2 years ago a few months shy of 103. On 10/4 my Husband passed away. The loss of a loved one is very difficult..prayers for us all